Mail Order Bride
Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by Stephanie
Meyer. No copyright infringement is meant. I am using the characters for
enjoyment purposes only.
Disclaimer: This fic is rated "M" for language,
violence, and sexual situations. If you are under 18, SCRAM! It is not my job to
police you. If you don't like what you are reading, STOP!
#--------
Chapter 24
After he'd uttered her name one last time, the rest of the day had passed in
an ever worsening haze. He was aware of moving, but he wasn't doing so under his
own power. He was aware of voices floating in the ether around him, but none of
them made sense. Then, there were hands, so many hands as people poked and
prodded him, followed by more of those meaningless sounds. Edward struggled to
open his eyes, but they felt so heavy and the light hurt so badly.
#--------------
Spanish Influenza…..
Dr. Laurent's words burned in Bella's ears. Apparently, what everyone had
thought was a harmless cold, was actually the start of another epidemic. Bella
stood by Edward's bed, Emmett standing beside her, his arm wrapped around her
shoulder. After Edward had collapsed, Bella had frantically called Emmett,
begging him to come over and help her. Then, she had called Dr. Laurent. Both
had arrived at the same time.
Dr. Laurent had asked Emmett to carry Edward up to his room. Once inside,
they had stripped him of his clothes, and started bathing him with cool cloths.
The argument forgotten, Bella stood back as they did this. Dr. Laurent tried to
convince Bella to leave to preserve her own health, but Bella adamantly refused.
Edward was her husband. She would take care of him.
Nessie was sent to her grandparent's house, to lessen her chance of getting
sick. She had kicked and screamed, at first refusing to leave when her daddy was
sick. She had been sent to her grandparents when her mother took ill, and she
never saw her again. It took both Esme and Bella to convince her that Edward
would pull through this. Nessie finally went with Esme, and Bella returned to
Edward's side.
As she ran the cool cloth over his face, Bella said, "Please, Edward. You
have to get well again. You have to beat this. For Nessie….and for me. We can't
lose you."
A groan escaped Edward, and his eyes opened slightly. They were glazed and
confused.
#----------------------
It could have been minutes, hours or days for all he knew. In the fog of
Edwards existence, time had no meaning. Edward desperately needed to move, to
remember something, to reach, but his body felt like lead. His eyes were still
glued shut and there was a pounding in his head. Groaning, Edward tried to
retreat deeper into the abyss, but something jerked him back to the surface.
Cold water splashed on his face. It felt like ice trickling down his neck. It
forced his eyes open just barely and cleared his mind enough to ask…"Nessie?
Where's Nessie?" His voice was shredded, like it'd been dragged over shards of
glass.
"Shhhhhhh." Came an instantly soothing sound, as a wet rag mopped his
forehead gently. "Don't worry, she's with your parents."
Satisfied, Edward closed his eyes, and drifted back into unconsciousness.
#-------------------
And so it went on for the next few days. Edward would drift in and out of
consciousness, sometimes asking for Nessie, and sometimes asking for Bella.
Bella was always there, spooning broth down his throat, and cooling him with wet
cloths. She slept little, and cared less about her appearance. She had taken to
simply wearing her nightgown, as it was less encumbering than her dresses. She
could move much more freely and faster. Her meals were simple and fast, because
she barely left Edward's side.
Edward had started coughing up blood. The first time it happened, Bella knew
what it meant. Blood was filling Edward's lungs. Only a miracle would save him
now….
#--------------------
Edward let out a hacking cough that rattled his chest, hurt his lungs and
brought blood to his lips. Again, that rag wiped blood, sweat and other fluids
from his mouth. Suddenly though, his senses were assaulted by a smell like
lavender and honey. It was so strong he though he could taste it. As the rag
dragged across his face again, he flicked out his tongue, caressing a soft
feminine wrist. He shuddered, recognizing the taste.
Bella was startled. She had felt Edward's tongue lave across her wrist. She
knew he was incoherent, but the sensation made her realize how much she missed
Edward's strong presence. Edward had not made any sexual advances since the
incident with James. Bella missed those moments with Edward.
"Hot….so hot…..fire….." Edward muttered.
Bella wet the cloths again, and began wiping down his entire body. "I'm
sorry, my love."
His hand clamped down on her wrist. Edward opened his glassy and pain filled
eyes. His vision was slightly blurry. He saw a feminine shape, but couldn't make
out any features. She leaned toward him, and brushed her hand down his cheek. He
leaned into the sensation, relishing the contact. Her hand was so cool compared
to the heat in his body. The hand caressed his cheek, and he groaned again.
When is this never ending fire going to stop?
#---------------------------
Five days….
Edward had been ill for 5 days. Dr. Laurent came to check on him daily. Every
day, he would shake his head and look at Bella with sad eyes. Bella, however,
refused to believe that Edward was dying. She refused to believe that she could
lose him forever.
At one point, Bella and Dr. Laurent had put a bed shirt on Edward, hoping
that the extra weight would help him sweat out the fever. Bella continued to
bathe him in cool cloths, her movements almost desperate now. Edward had begun
to thrash on the bed, and Bella was frightened that he would injure himself. She
took his hand in hers. Almost immediately, his thrashing ceased.
"Edward? Edward, can you hear me? Please, please open your eyes for me."
And then, miraculously, his green eyes opened and gazed at her, unfocused and
glassy.
#----------------------
Edward was still burning up with fever. He was thrashing on the bed, trying
to get away from the heat within his body. He felt a soft, feminine hand take
his. Words…"Edward? Edward, can you hear me? Please, please open your eyes for
me." Immediately, he stopped thrashing, trying to focus on that voice. He
knew that voice…
As if that was the signal he had been waiting for, Edward's eyes slowly
opened. They were glassy and unfocused. He looked around wildly, searching. His
gaze settled on a feminine form sitting beside him.
"Edward, I'm here. I'm right here," She told him soothingly. She squeezed his
hand.
Edward's head turned in her direction. He looked at Bella, seeming to focus,
if only for a moment. His hand squeezed hers slightly. "It's you," Was Edwards
soft reply as he struggled desperately to focus on the female perched so close
to him. Bella smiled widely. He recognizes me!
Leaning down, Bella kissed Edward's brow. It was a little cooler than before,
but still very hot. As she was pulling back, Edward's other hand shot out and
grabbed her behind her neck.
"So beautiful…."he said hoarsely, his voice rusty from disuse. Bella felt
tears form. He had never called her that before. "I love you, and I'm sorry for
everything. Can you forgive me?" Edward asked, a plea in his voice that Bella
had never heard before. Her breathing stopped. Before she could respond, Edward
pulled her closer. Bella barely had time to think, before his lips touched hers.
Bella had only ever kissed one man willingly in her life, and that was
Edward. This kiss felt different than the few times he had kissed her for
appearance sake. It even felt different from the times he had kissed her
willingly.
This kiss held passion….
Bella barely noticed when he slowly pulled her onto the bed with him. Her
brain told her that he was very sick, and she should stop this. Her heart,
however, told her to let it happen. Edward finally wanted to make love to her.
Bella listened to her heart…
#----------------------
Edward fell even deeper into his fever induced delusions, while pulling his
wife closer to him. His world became immersed in her feminine scent. The coarse
gritty feeling of the cotton sheets beneath him became smooth, like satin. Her
lips against his were soft, like rose petals, feeding the fever of his
desire for her.
She came willingly to Edward like she always did. Never had she tried to
resist him. He let his hands travel down her body. His mind changing the musty
bed clothes she wore with its stained lace to something blue, made of the finest
silk. Her hair fell in soft waves around him after his hands had traveled up,
unbinding that hair he loved so much.
He let his lips fall to her throat, tonguing the pulse that pounded harder
under his touch. Edward heard his woman release a soft moan at his touch. The
sound caused an urgency to fill him, and suddenly he felt that it had been far
too long since he'd last touched his mate. Eager hands moved to undo the
intricate ties of her dressing gown.
He wanted nothing more than to bare her body to him. The delicate lace kept
slipping through his fingers. Just as he started to contemplate ripping the
clothing from her body, she pulled away. He watched in awe as nimble fingers
undid the ties that had eluded him. Soon the clothes fell from her body as if by
magic.
Edward gazed up at her, the beauty that she was calling to him. Reaching for
her waist, he took a firm grip, rolling them both so that his love was trapped
beneath him. Pressing her into the bed, he kissed her long and deep. They were
both panting by the time he got his fill of her lips. Her hands reached for him,
tugging on his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. Edward helped her rid him
of the useless bit of clothing.
He looked down at her with her eyes shining, lips swollen, pink nipples pert
and perfect, wearing only a thin bit of lace that rode her hips. "Mine," he
whispered. "You're all mine."
Instead of going for those half parted lips, Edward moved lower, lavishing
his attention on her breasts. He sucked one of her hard little buds into hot
moist cavern of his mouth. The sensation made his woman cry out, as one of his
hands wandered to her other breast, molding her tender flesh and teasing her
nipple. His wife shivered relentlessly beneath him, her mouth open, releasing
endless whimpers and pleading gasps. He let his other hand wander much lower on
her body, while still feasting on her quivering bosom.
#----------------------
Bella lay beneath Edward, shuddering and grasping his hair, as he licked and
sucked at her nipples. Then, she felt his hand travel lower. His fingers tangled
into her woman's hair, and then she cried out as he slipped a finger inside. He
moved slowly, pressing inside of her gently but firmly.
As he stroked and stretched her body with his fingers, Bella reached down and
stroked his manhood. It twitched in her hand and she reveled in the feelings
that he invoked within her. Boldly, she stroked faster, causing Edward to moan
and press against her hand.
Rolling them again, Bella found herself on top of Edward. She felt his
erection nudging at her folds. Not sure what to do, but following her instincts,
she guided him into her. Edward pushed upward slightly, and Bella felt the
pressure of him inside of her for the first time.
It was just a second later and Edward's throbbing erection was pressed deeply
inside. Bella felt a small tearing sensation that made her quiver, but passed as
quickly as it had come. She could feel him pulsing inside her, while she rested
her hands on his chest. While she adjusted to feeling him fill her so
completely, her husband gave a her mystified look and suddenly she realized she
didn't know what to do as the shock silenced her earlier instincts.
Teasingly, Edward reached up, brushing his fingertip over her hips, making
Bella shiver. Then, he gripped the flesh of her backside. Slowly, he helped her
rise on her knees, straining till his tip was barely inside her, before slamming
back home. The sensation made her back arch, thrusting her breasts out over him
as she moaned. He did this over and over until Bella found her rhythm, shocks of
pleasure lighting up every nerve in her body, in a way that had never happened
before.
All too soon, Bella felt Edward stiffen under her, and heard his moan of
pleasure. She felt liquid heat spurt inside of her. She collapsed on top of him,
and quickly rolled to her side, so as not to hurt him. Edward pulled her against
him, a content smile on his face.
Bella curled into his side, and whispered, "I love you, Edward. Now, I am
complete."
Edward stirred, and opened his eyes….
#---------------------
Edward opened his eyes slowly. Bella laid her hand on his brow. It was
noticeable cooler. "Edward, can you hear me?" Bella asked quietly. His head
turned in her direction.
"Tanya?" Edward questioned softly. His eyes were unfocused, but his voice was
stronger. Then, he closed his eyes again, and succumbed to sleep.
Bella felt tears threaten. He had just made the sweetest love to her, and in
the end, he spoke his dead wife's name. Bella was heartbroken. That one word
firmly confirmed what she had always known to be true.
He was still in love with his dead wife. He'll never love me. Not as I love
him. He said all those things to her. He made love to his wife, but not the live
one… never the live one.
Pulling her nightgown back on quickly, Bella quietly raced out of his
bedroom. After she entered her room, she allowed the tears to fall. Bella knew
in that instant that she could stay no longer. There was no chance of her ever
gaining his love. And.....she could not stay in a marriage where she knew she
would never be loved. She had known it at the beginning. But, she had tried. She
had given Edward so many chances. But, him calling her by Tanya's name after
giving him her body and soul......had finally broken her. He lied to
me. He's lied since the beginning. He never intended for his heart to be
involved. I was a stupid, lovesick.....foolish girl....
Pulling her clothes from the wardrobe, she stopped. The beautiful dresses
that Edward had purchased for her were in there as well. They suddenly seemed to
mock her. Grazing the silky material, Bella resolutely left them hanging there.
She would take nothing from him.
Dressing in her warmest traveling gown, Bella's eyes swept the room that had
been hers for the last several months. Taking her toiletries off the vanity, she
placed them in her bag as well. Again, if Edward purchased it, it stayed were it
was. She would owe him nothing.
She carried her things downstairs. Stopping in the kitchen, she retrieved a
pen and paper. Realizing she could not simply disappear, she decided to leave
Edward a letter. She would leave it on the table in the Dining Room. He would
see it there eventually. Picking up the pen, Bella began writing the hardest
letter of her life.
My dearest Edward,
I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have come to realize that our
feelings are not the same and therefore, I cannot stay with you any longer. I
have greatly enjoyed the time that we were together, and I thank you for the
wonderful memories I will carry for the rest of my days. I realize I am taking
the coward's way out of our marriage, and for that I am so sorry. You have shown
me a life I never dreamed existed. But, unfortunately, that is all it will ever
be…a dream. A beautiful dream that I was lucky enough to get a glimpse of. I
thank you for that opportunity. No words can truly explain how much it all meant
to me, being a wife and mother. Just know, I was happy and regret nothing of our
time together.
Nessie has become the lovely child I am sure she once was again, and I
would like to think I had a small hand in that happening. Please tell her that I
love her. I am so sorry I have to leave her, but this is the way it must be. I
cannot, nor should I stay where I know I don't belong. Again, I am a coward.
Edward, I release you from our marriage vows. As our marriage was not
consummated, you should be able to obtain an annulment with no difficulty. I do
not expect, nor do I want anything from you of a monetary value. You will find
the garments and such that you purchased for me still hanging in the armoire.
The only things I take with me are the items I came with, and memories of our
brief time together.
Please know that I am truly sorry for leaving in this way. I truly feel it is
for the best.
The last two things I return to you are my name…your name, and my wedding
ring. Please give them to the woman who someday will truly hold your heart. You
deserve that happiness. I wish you the best always. I only hope someday you can
forgive me. I will never bother you again. This is goodbye.
Yours always,
Bella Swan
Setting the pen down, Bella took a shaky breath in. This was it. The end of
her brief glimpse of happiness. Edward didn't love her. He wouldn't even
remember the perfect moments from upstairs earlier. Bella, however, would never
forget. Never consummated indeed. At least I'll always have the memories.
Bella raised her left hand to eye level. In the dull light, her wedding ring
still shimmered. Fighting tears, Bella removed the ring and placed it on the
letter. Her hand felt empty now. She had fibbed a little in the letter. She was
taking one more thing besides what she had written. Carefully folded in one of
her dresses, was a portrait. In this portrait, was Edward and Nessie. This way,
she would always be able to see their faces and remember this brief time of
happiness. This brief time when she had love. Even if it only came from the
child, never the father. She just hoped she would be able to look at the picture
in the future without bursting into tears.
Picking up her coat and bag, Bella opened the front door and stepped through
it. She forced herself not to look back. As she walked away, she felt her heart
shatter from within.
I love you, Edward Cullen. I'll love you until I no longer draw breath.
Maybe by that time, the pain of losing you will have ceased.
Though......I doubt that will be the case.......
#------
Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by Stephanie
Meyer. No copyright infringement is meant. I am using the characters for
enjoyment purposes only.
Disclaimer: This fic is rated "M" for language,
violence, and sexual situations. If you are under 18, SCRAM! It is not my job to
police you. If you don't like what you are reading, STOP!
#--------
Chapter 24
After he'd uttered her name one last time, the rest of the day had passed in
an ever worsening haze. He was aware of moving, but he wasn't doing so under his
own power. He was aware of voices floating in the ether around him, but none of
them made sense. Then, there were hands, so many hands as people poked and
prodded him, followed by more of those meaningless sounds. Edward struggled to
open his eyes, but they felt so heavy and the light hurt so badly.
#--------------
Spanish Influenza…..
Dr. Laurent's words burned in Bella's ears. Apparently, what everyone had
thought was a harmless cold, was actually the start of another epidemic. Bella
stood by Edward's bed, Emmett standing beside her, his arm wrapped around her
shoulder. After Edward had collapsed, Bella had frantically called Emmett,
begging him to come over and help her. Then, she had called Dr. Laurent. Both
had arrived at the same time.
Dr. Laurent had asked Emmett to carry Edward up to his room. Once inside,
they had stripped him of his clothes, and started bathing him with cool cloths.
The argument forgotten, Bella stood back as they did this. Dr. Laurent tried to
convince Bella to leave to preserve her own health, but Bella adamantly refused.
Edward was her husband. She would take care of him.
Nessie was sent to her grandparent's house, to lessen her chance of getting
sick. She had kicked and screamed, at first refusing to leave when her daddy was
sick. She had been sent to her grandparents when her mother took ill, and she
never saw her again. It took both Esme and Bella to convince her that Edward
would pull through this. Nessie finally went with Esme, and Bella returned to
Edward's side.
As she ran the cool cloth over his face, Bella said, "Please, Edward. You
have to get well again. You have to beat this. For Nessie….and for me. We can't
lose you."
A groan escaped Edward, and his eyes opened slightly. They were glazed and
confused.
#----------------------
It could have been minutes, hours or days for all he knew. In the fog of
Edwards existence, time had no meaning. Edward desperately needed to move, to
remember something, to reach, but his body felt like lead. His eyes were still
glued shut and there was a pounding in his head. Groaning, Edward tried to
retreat deeper into the abyss, but something jerked him back to the surface.
Cold water splashed on his face. It felt like ice trickling down his neck. It
forced his eyes open just barely and cleared his mind enough to ask…"Nessie?
Where's Nessie?" His voice was shredded, like it'd been dragged over shards of
glass.
"Shhhhhhh." Came an instantly soothing sound, as a wet rag mopped his
forehead gently. "Don't worry, she's with your parents."
Satisfied, Edward closed his eyes, and drifted back into unconsciousness.
#-------------------
And so it went on for the next few days. Edward would drift in and out of
consciousness, sometimes asking for Nessie, and sometimes asking for Bella.
Bella was always there, spooning broth down his throat, and cooling him with wet
cloths. She slept little, and cared less about her appearance. She had taken to
simply wearing her nightgown, as it was less encumbering than her dresses. She
could move much more freely and faster. Her meals were simple and fast, because
she barely left Edward's side.
Edward had started coughing up blood. The first time it happened, Bella knew
what it meant. Blood was filling Edward's lungs. Only a miracle would save him
now….
#--------------------
Edward let out a hacking cough that rattled his chest, hurt his lungs and
brought blood to his lips. Again, that rag wiped blood, sweat and other fluids
from his mouth. Suddenly though, his senses were assaulted by a smell like
lavender and honey. It was so strong he though he could taste it. As the rag
dragged across his face again, he flicked out his tongue, caressing a soft
feminine wrist. He shuddered, recognizing the taste.
Bella was startled. She had felt Edward's tongue lave across her wrist. She
knew he was incoherent, but the sensation made her realize how much she missed
Edward's strong presence. Edward had not made any sexual advances since the
incident with James. Bella missed those moments with Edward.
"Hot….so hot…..fire….." Edward muttered.
Bella wet the cloths again, and began wiping down his entire body. "I'm
sorry, my love."
His hand clamped down on her wrist. Edward opened his glassy and pain filled
eyes. His vision was slightly blurry. He saw a feminine shape, but couldn't make
out any features. She leaned toward him, and brushed her hand down his cheek. He
leaned into the sensation, relishing the contact. Her hand was so cool compared
to the heat in his body. The hand caressed his cheek, and he groaned again.
When is this never ending fire going to stop?
#---------------------------
Five days….
Edward had been ill for 5 days. Dr. Laurent came to check on him daily. Every
day, he would shake his head and look at Bella with sad eyes. Bella, however,
refused to believe that Edward was dying. She refused to believe that she could
lose him forever.
At one point, Bella and Dr. Laurent had put a bed shirt on Edward, hoping
that the extra weight would help him sweat out the fever. Bella continued to
bathe him in cool cloths, her movements almost desperate now. Edward had begun
to thrash on the bed, and Bella was frightened that he would injure himself. She
took his hand in hers. Almost immediately, his thrashing ceased.
"Edward? Edward, can you hear me? Please, please open your eyes for me."
And then, miraculously, his green eyes opened and gazed at her, unfocused and
glassy.
#----------------------
Edward was still burning up with fever. He was thrashing on the bed, trying
to get away from the heat within his body. He felt a soft, feminine hand take
his. Words…"Edward? Edward, can you hear me? Please, please open your eyes for
me." Immediately, he stopped thrashing, trying to focus on that voice. He
knew that voice…
As if that was the signal he had been waiting for, Edward's eyes slowly
opened. They were glassy and unfocused. He looked around wildly, searching. His
gaze settled on a feminine form sitting beside him.
"Edward, I'm here. I'm right here," She told him soothingly. She squeezed his
hand.
Edward's head turned in her direction. He looked at Bella, seeming to focus,
if only for a moment. His hand squeezed hers slightly. "It's you," Was Edwards
soft reply as he struggled desperately to focus on the female perched so close
to him. Bella smiled widely. He recognizes me!
Leaning down, Bella kissed Edward's brow. It was a little cooler than before,
but still very hot. As she was pulling back, Edward's other hand shot out and
grabbed her behind her neck.
"So beautiful…."he said hoarsely, his voice rusty from disuse. Bella felt
tears form. He had never called her that before. "I love you, and I'm sorry for
everything. Can you forgive me?" Edward asked, a plea in his voice that Bella
had never heard before. Her breathing stopped. Before she could respond, Edward
pulled her closer. Bella barely had time to think, before his lips touched hers.
Bella had only ever kissed one man willingly in her life, and that was
Edward. This kiss felt different than the few times he had kissed her for
appearance sake. It even felt different from the times he had kissed her
willingly.
This kiss held passion….
Bella barely noticed when he slowly pulled her onto the bed with him. Her
brain told her that he was very sick, and she should stop this. Her heart,
however, told her to let it happen. Edward finally wanted to make love to her.
Bella listened to her heart…
#----------------------
Edward fell even deeper into his fever induced delusions, while pulling his
wife closer to him. His world became immersed in her feminine scent. The coarse
gritty feeling of the cotton sheets beneath him became smooth, like satin. Her
lips against his were soft, like rose petals, feeding the fever of his
desire for her.
She came willingly to Edward like she always did. Never had she tried to
resist him. He let his hands travel down her body. His mind changing the musty
bed clothes she wore with its stained lace to something blue, made of the finest
silk. Her hair fell in soft waves around him after his hands had traveled up,
unbinding that hair he loved so much.
He let his lips fall to her throat, tonguing the pulse that pounded harder
under his touch. Edward heard his woman release a soft moan at his touch. The
sound caused an urgency to fill him, and suddenly he felt that it had been far
too long since he'd last touched his mate. Eager hands moved to undo the
intricate ties of her dressing gown.
He wanted nothing more than to bare her body to him. The delicate lace kept
slipping through his fingers. Just as he started to contemplate ripping the
clothing from her body, she pulled away. He watched in awe as nimble fingers
undid the ties that had eluded him. Soon the clothes fell from her body as if by
magic.
Edward gazed up at her, the beauty that she was calling to him. Reaching for
her waist, he took a firm grip, rolling them both so that his love was trapped
beneath him. Pressing her into the bed, he kissed her long and deep. They were
both panting by the time he got his fill of her lips. Her hands reached for him,
tugging on his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. Edward helped her rid him
of the useless bit of clothing.
He looked down at her with her eyes shining, lips swollen, pink nipples pert
and perfect, wearing only a thin bit of lace that rode her hips. "Mine," he
whispered. "You're all mine."
Instead of going for those half parted lips, Edward moved lower, lavishing
his attention on her breasts. He sucked one of her hard little buds into hot
moist cavern of his mouth. The sensation made his woman cry out, as one of his
hands wandered to her other breast, molding her tender flesh and teasing her
nipple. His wife shivered relentlessly beneath him, her mouth open, releasing
endless whimpers and pleading gasps. He let his other hand wander much lower on
her body, while still feasting on her quivering bosom.
#----------------------
Bella lay beneath Edward, shuddering and grasping his hair, as he licked and
sucked at her nipples. Then, she felt his hand travel lower. His fingers tangled
into her woman's hair, and then she cried out as he slipped a finger inside. He
moved slowly, pressing inside of her gently but firmly.
As he stroked and stretched her body with his fingers, Bella reached down and
stroked his manhood. It twitched in her hand and she reveled in the feelings
that he invoked within her. Boldly, she stroked faster, causing Edward to moan
and press against her hand.
Rolling them again, Bella found herself on top of Edward. She felt his
erection nudging at her folds. Not sure what to do, but following her instincts,
she guided him into her. Edward pushed upward slightly, and Bella felt the
pressure of him inside of her for the first time.
It was just a second later and Edward's throbbing erection was pressed deeply
inside. Bella felt a small tearing sensation that made her quiver, but passed as
quickly as it had come. She could feel him pulsing inside her, while she rested
her hands on his chest. While she adjusted to feeling him fill her so
completely, her husband gave a her mystified look and suddenly she realized she
didn't know what to do as the shock silenced her earlier instincts.
Teasingly, Edward reached up, brushing his fingertip over her hips, making
Bella shiver. Then, he gripped the flesh of her backside. Slowly, he helped her
rise on her knees, straining till his tip was barely inside her, before slamming
back home. The sensation made her back arch, thrusting her breasts out over him
as she moaned. He did this over and over until Bella found her rhythm, shocks of
pleasure lighting up every nerve in her body, in a way that had never happened
before.
All too soon, Bella felt Edward stiffen under her, and heard his moan of
pleasure. She felt liquid heat spurt inside of her. She collapsed on top of him,
and quickly rolled to her side, so as not to hurt him. Edward pulled her against
him, a content smile on his face.
Bella curled into his side, and whispered, "I love you, Edward. Now, I am
complete."
Edward stirred, and opened his eyes….
#---------------------
Edward opened his eyes slowly. Bella laid her hand on his brow. It was
noticeable cooler. "Edward, can you hear me?" Bella asked quietly. His head
turned in her direction.
"Tanya?" Edward questioned softly. His eyes were unfocused, but his voice was
stronger. Then, he closed his eyes again, and succumbed to sleep.
Bella felt tears threaten. He had just made the sweetest love to her, and in
the end, he spoke his dead wife's name. Bella was heartbroken. That one word
firmly confirmed what she had always known to be true.
He was still in love with his dead wife. He'll never love me. Not as I love
him. He said all those things to her. He made love to his wife, but not the live
one… never the live one.
Pulling her nightgown back on quickly, Bella quietly raced out of his
bedroom. After she entered her room, she allowed the tears to fall. Bella knew
in that instant that she could stay no longer. There was no chance of her ever
gaining his love. And.....she could not stay in a marriage where she knew she
would never be loved. She had known it at the beginning. But, she had tried. She
had given Edward so many chances. But, him calling her by Tanya's name after
giving him her body and soul......had finally broken her. He lied to
me. He's lied since the beginning. He never intended for his heart to be
involved. I was a stupid, lovesick.....foolish girl....
Pulling her clothes from the wardrobe, she stopped. The beautiful dresses
that Edward had purchased for her were in there as well. They suddenly seemed to
mock her. Grazing the silky material, Bella resolutely left them hanging there.
She would take nothing from him.
Dressing in her warmest traveling gown, Bella's eyes swept the room that had
been hers for the last several months. Taking her toiletries off the vanity, she
placed them in her bag as well. Again, if Edward purchased it, it stayed were it
was. She would owe him nothing.
She carried her things downstairs. Stopping in the kitchen, she retrieved a
pen and paper. Realizing she could not simply disappear, she decided to leave
Edward a letter. She would leave it on the table in the Dining Room. He would
see it there eventually. Picking up the pen, Bella began writing the hardest
letter of her life.
My dearest Edward,
I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have come to realize that our
feelings are not the same and therefore, I cannot stay with you any longer. I
have greatly enjoyed the time that we were together, and I thank you for the
wonderful memories I will carry for the rest of my days. I realize I am taking
the coward's way out of our marriage, and for that I am so sorry. You have shown
me a life I never dreamed existed. But, unfortunately, that is all it will ever
be…a dream. A beautiful dream that I was lucky enough to get a glimpse of. I
thank you for that opportunity. No words can truly explain how much it all meant
to me, being a wife and mother. Just know, I was happy and regret nothing of our
time together.
Nessie has become the lovely child I am sure she once was again, and I
would like to think I had a small hand in that happening. Please tell her that I
love her. I am so sorry I have to leave her, but this is the way it must be. I
cannot, nor should I stay where I know I don't belong. Again, I am a coward.
Edward, I release you from our marriage vows. As our marriage was not
consummated, you should be able to obtain an annulment with no difficulty. I do
not expect, nor do I want anything from you of a monetary value. You will find
the garments and such that you purchased for me still hanging in the armoire.
The only things I take with me are the items I came with, and memories of our
brief time together.
Please know that I am truly sorry for leaving in this way. I truly feel it is
for the best.
The last two things I return to you are my name…your name, and my wedding
ring. Please give them to the woman who someday will truly hold your heart. You
deserve that happiness. I wish you the best always. I only hope someday you can
forgive me. I will never bother you again. This is goodbye.
Yours always,
Bella Swan
Setting the pen down, Bella took a shaky breath in. This was it. The end of
her brief glimpse of happiness. Edward didn't love her. He wouldn't even
remember the perfect moments from upstairs earlier. Bella, however, would never
forget. Never consummated indeed. At least I'll always have the memories.
Bella raised her left hand to eye level. In the dull light, her wedding ring
still shimmered. Fighting tears, Bella removed the ring and placed it on the
letter. Her hand felt empty now. She had fibbed a little in the letter. She was
taking one more thing besides what she had written. Carefully folded in one of
her dresses, was a portrait. In this portrait, was Edward and Nessie. This way,
she would always be able to see their faces and remember this brief time of
happiness. This brief time when she had love. Even if it only came from the
child, never the father. She just hoped she would be able to look at the picture
in the future without bursting into tears.
Picking up her coat and bag, Bella opened the front door and stepped through
it. She forced herself not to look back. As she walked away, she felt her heart
shatter from within.
I love you, Edward Cullen. I'll love you until I no longer draw breath.
Maybe by that time, the pain of losing you will have ceased.
Though......I doubt that will be the case.......
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