Moments of Clarity, Moments of Insanity
Disclaimer: Switched At Birth is owned by Lizzy Weiss and ABC Family. No
copyright infringement is meant. I am using the characters for entertainment
purposes only.
Disclaimer: There will be "M" rated themes in later chapters......
#-----------
Chapter 6- episode 8
I can't believe it! Emmett kissed me! On the lips! That moment just
kept replaying in my head. I was shocked, surprised and giddy. All the way home,
I had a huge smile on my face. Toby thought I was on some "happy" pills. I said
I just felt like smiling. And I did….
Until that night. Alone in my room, the doubts started to creep in. Why did
he kiss me? Does he really like me…like that? Or, is he using me as a
replacement for Daphne? I know he has feelings for her. So, why kiss me?
Suddenly the kiss that meant so much to me started to make me wonder… Was it me
he actually wanted, or was I the second choice after he couldn't have the one he
really wanted?
I had to talk to Emmett. What was I going to say though?
#------------------------
Kissing Bay was the best thing that ever happened to me. Her soft lips
pressed against mine. That memory was seared in my brain, on constant replay.
All the way home, I had a huge smile on my face. My mother thought I was drunk.
I told her I just felt like smiling. And I did…..
Until that night. Daphne texted me, wanting to hang out. Now that I had
kissed Bay, showing her I had feelings for her, I was kind of uncomfortable
having Daphne over here, alone. I mean, she's my best friend and yes, I want to
hang out, but…..
She wasn't the most important person in my life anymore. She wasn't Bay. I
ended up texting back that I had a lot of homework and couldn't hang out
tonight. Daphne texted back that it wasn't a problem and she would just see me
at school.
I had to talk to Bay. What would I say though?
#----------------------
I had decided to visit Emmett at his school. I needed answers and I was going
to get them! After having Toby drop me off a couple blocks from Carlton, I
walked there and found his bike. Sitting down on the curb, I waited.
And waited….
And waited….
And waited…. Geez, what's taking him so long? Sighing for the 10th
time or so, I finally saw Emmett. He was walking out with another boy. They were
signing back and forth. Finally, they did the shoulder bump thing all guys seem
to do at the end of a conversation.
Emmett got closer and spotted me. His steps slowed down a little. Bet he
wasn't expecting to see me here. Standing up, I said, "Hey, you."
Emmett stared at me for a second. Then he folded his arms across his chest
and gave me a crooked smile.
"Yeah, no. Don't give me the sultry James Dean smirk." Damn, he does look HOT
doing it though! Focus, Bay! Focus! "What the hell were you thinking kissing me
like that?" I wasn't really angry, I just wanted to know why! "I had everything
planned out! I was going to mope around my art studio, painting melodramatic
paintings, listening to Adele…pining for Ty…" Not really, but I had to sound
convincing. "And you showed up, and you kissed me, and you ruined everything!"
Kind of truth. "Now I can't get you out of my head!" Very true!
Emmett was just staring at me. When I told him I couldn't get him out of my
head, he actually looked happy! Okay, good sign. Then my nerves kicked in, and I
started rambling.
"What was that even about? Okay. Are you just messing with me? Did it mean
anything to you at all? Are you just using me to get to Daphne?" On second
thought, maybe I don't want to know THAT answer.
"You know what? I…I don't even really care! I'm just really…annoyed!" I said,
ending my tirade.
Emmett calmly signed something. I think he asked if I was finished. "Does
that mean "finished?"
He nodded slightly. Showing my frustration, I over signed what he just showed
me. "Yes, I am "Finished!" Your turn…" Okay, mister! Start talking…err, signing.
Emmett stepped toward me and pulled me in, his lips descending on mine at the
same time. This kiss was not like the first kiss. This was more primal. Like he
was staking his claim on my heart. Automatically, I stepped more toward him and
he deepened the kiss. HOLY MOTHER…..!
This felt like he was the only boy I was ever meant to kiss in my life. It
felt natural and easy being in his arms. I felt like that was were I belonged.
My hands started having a mind of their own, roaming over his hair and
shoulders.
After kissing me breathless, Emmett pulled back. He signed and mouthed
slowly, "Does that answer your questions or do I need to show you again how much
I want to be with you?"
"No, that answered them just fine. Thanks for clarifying," I told him,
feeling giddy. He wanted ME! He smiled and kissed me again. I could totally get
used to this.
#----------------------
I was late getting out of school. Jackson and I had a project due in Science
and we had been working on that for an hour. Finally, we decided to call it
quits for the day and head home. As we walked out to the parking lot, we made
plans to finish the project the next day. After we did the shoulder bump, he
waved and headed toward his mom's car. I was just nearing my bike when I saw Bay
sitting on the curb, waiting. I slowed down my steps, gauging her mood.
Uh-oh! This could go either way. She didn't look mad, but maybe she was
building up to it. I did, after all, kiss her and walk away without a word. What
was she going to say?
When I got close enough to understand her, she stood up. "Hey, you!" she
said. So far, so good. I gave her a crooked smile, folding my arms, waiting.
"Yeah, no. Don't give me the sultry James Dean smirk." She thinks I'm sultry?
"What the hell were you thinking kissing me like that?" I was thinking I wanted
to show her I wanted her. "I had everything planned out! I was going to mope
around my art studio, painting melodramatic paintings, listening to Adele…pining
for Ty…" She's STILL hung up on that tool? "And you showed up, and you kissed
me, and you ruined everything!" Maybe not! "Now I can't get you out of my head!"
I just stared at her. So, she liked the kiss. Good! I could tell she was
getting nervous. Her rambling next proved it. I only caught every few words,
though.
"What was … … about? Okay. Are … just messing …me? Did … mean anything … you
… all? Are you … using me … get … Daphne?" How could she think I was USING HER!
I WANTED HER!
"You know what? I…I don't even really care! I'm just really…annoyed!" she
said, winding down, effectively ending her speech.
I calmly asked if she was done. "Does that mean "finished?" she asked me,
unsure of my sign.
I nodded slightly. "Yes, I am "Finished!" She over signed. "Your turn…" Okay,
time to prove myself to her.
I stepped toward her and pulled her in, kissing her passionately. This kiss
was not like the first kiss. This was more primal. I was staking my claim to her
heart. She stepped more toward me and I deepened the kiss. YES….!
I felt like she was the only girl I was ever meant to kiss in my life. She
felt natural in my arms, like she was made just for me. I felt like that was
were she belonged. Her hands started having a mind of their own, roaming over my
hair and shoulders. I kept my hands at her waist, but pulled her tighter toward
me. I never wanted to let go.
After kissing her breathless, I pulled back. Did she get it now? I signed and
mouthed slowly, "Does that answer your questions or do I need to show you again
how much I want to be with you?"
"No, that answered them just fine. Thanks for clarifying," she told me,
looking a little flushed. I had her now, and I wasn't letting go. I smiled and
kissed her again. I could totally get used to this.
#---------------------
We decided to head to the park. Emmett ran to his mom's car and dropped off
his book bag. Opening the trunk, he pulled out a blanket. I raised an eyebrow in
question. He just shrugged and smiled. I shook my head and grinned.
"Ready?" he signed.
"Yes, I'm ready," I said, repeating his sign.
Kissing me again, he handed me his spare helmet. Rolling up the blanket,
Emmett placed it in a side compartment I hadn't noticed before. He got on and
stood waiting for me. Here we go again.
This time, I held on much tighter. Not because I was scared, but because I
now felt I had the right to be that close to Emmett.
Were we dating now? Presumably yes. I doubted he would have kissed me the way
he did if he wasn't expecting us to date now. What a kiss it was though! My toes
were still curling from it.
Once we reached the park, we found a secluded spot and laid the blanket down.
I started to sit, but was caught off guard when Emmett grabbed me around my
waist. The next thing I knew, I saw a flash. Emmett had just taken a picture of
us. I swear that boy has his camera permanently attached to his hand. Someday,
they may have to surgically remove it. That thought made me giggle to myself.
"To remember today," he mouthed.
We tumbled onto the blanket. He leaned over me and kissed me breathless. God,
this boy knows to kiss!
Now that we were dating, I became curious about the different signs that you
would use with your significant other. I knew "making out" and "love", but was
unsure of others. I was pretty sure I would need to know how to tell him I
wanted a kiss, or how to tell people we were dating. When Emmett pulled back for
a second to look at me, I asked curiously, "How do you say "kiss" in sign
language?"Emmett pulled back and showed me the sign for kiss. Then he signed a
kiss on the cheek. I laughed.
Emmett kissed me again. Pulling away a second time, I asked, "How do you say
laugh?" Again he showed me and I mimicked him. "Laugh." He smiled and pulled me
in again. A girl could certainly get used to this! Something else was on my mind
though. Something I wasn't sure he would like me asking.
Pushing Emmett back slightly, I asked, "Can I ask you a question?" Emmett
fell back on the blanket, looking exasperated. Finally, he sits up with a smile
and motions for me to ask my question. Here goes nothing.
"Do you ever speak? Like, with your voice?" I asked him, signing very little.
Emmett stared at me. Finally he shook his head no.
"Why not? Is it cause you're embarrassed, cause you don't have to be with
me," I said quickly, hoping he wasn't angry.
Emmett signed what looked like, "I don't need to." Just to make sure I was
right, I repeated his sign. "You don't need to?" He nodded.
"Well, yeah. You haven't needed to, because you're usually around people who
sign. But, with me..." I left the sentence hanging.
Understanding dawned on Emmett's face. "You have to learn to sign," he signed
and mouthed.
"I know! I'm learning to sign. I've got books. I'm on like 3 different sites.
And my private lessons with you," I told him, shyly rubbing his arm. "But, in
the meantime, do you think that you could...?" I finished slowly.
Emmett was shaking his head again. Now I have made him angry. Me and my big
mouth!
Trying to change the subject again, I said, "Can we go back to kissing? We do
that really well!"
Emmett smiled slightly and leaned closer. I grabbed his jacket and pulled him
down. He shrugged out of his jacket and pulled me closer. I ran my hands up and
down his well toned arms.
Damn, he is hot and all mine!
#--------------------
We decided to head to the park. I ran over to Mom's car and dropped my book
bag in the back seat. She wouldn't say anything. I've done it lots of times
before. Opening the trunk, I pulled out a blanket she always kept in there. Bay
raised an eyebrow in question. I just shrugged and smiled. She shook her head
and grinned. Hey, no point in laying on the hard ground without enjoying it.
"Ready?" I signed.
"Yes, I'm ready," she said, repeating my sign.
Kissing her again, I handed her my spare helmet. Rolling up the blanket, I
stored it in a side compartment on the bike. I got on and stood waiting for her
to do the same.
She held on much tighter then she usually did. Not that I minded, because I
was sure that before she thought she didn't have the right to sit so close to
me. Now, she was comfortable.
Were we dating now? Absolutely, yes. I don't go around just kissing anybody!
What a kiss it was though! My lips were still tingling from it.
Once we reached the park, we found a secluded spot and laid the blanket down.
Bay started to sit, but before she could, I grabbed her around the waist. I
aimed my camera quickly and took a picture before she was totally aware of what
I was doing. I wanted to remember this day forever.
"To remember today," I mouthed.
We tumbled onto the blanket. I leaned over her and kissed her breathless.
God, I love kissing her!
Now that we were dating, I knew I would have to teach her new signs to
explain our relationship. I just wasn't counting on her asking so soon. When I
pulled back for a second to look at her, she asked, "How do you say "kiss" in
sign language?"
I pulled back and showed her the sign for kiss. Then I signed a kiss on the
cheek. Of course, she laughed.
I kissed her again. Pulling away for a second time, she asked, "How do you
say laugh?" Again I showed her and she mimicked me. "Laugh." I smiled and pulled
her in again. At least she wants to know.
Pushing me back slightly, Bay asked, "Can I ask you a question?" Falling back
on the blanket, all I could think was, "You're killing me here!" Finally, I sat
up with a smile and motioned for her to ask her question. Boy, was I surprised.
"Do you ever speak? Like, with your voice?" Bay asked me, curiosity clearly
on her face.
I could only stare at her. Any question in the world she could have asked,
and it was the one question I never wanted to answer. Seeing that Bay was
watching me intently, I finally shook my head no.
"Why not? Is it cause your embarrassed, cause you don't have to be with me,"
she said quickly, clearly realizing I was uncomfortable.
How could I explain to Bay why I never spoke? Would she understand if I did
tell her? Finally, I decided on "I don't need to." Bay repeated my signs. "You
don't need to?" I nodded. That was the best answer I could give right now.
"Well, yeah. You haven't needed to, because you're usually around people who
sign. But, with me..." she left the sentence hanging.
Oh! She was uncomfortable because she didn't sign as well as other people I
knew. That would change though. "You have to learn to sign," I signed and
mouthed. I understood her fine. She always got what she was saying across to me.
I might miss some words once and awhile, but that was only when she was excited
or over anxious, which wasn't very often.
"I know! I'm learning to sign. I've got books. I'm on like 3 different sites.
And my private lessons with you," Bay told me, rubbing my arm. "But, in the
meantime, do you think that you could...?" she finished slowly.
I shook my head again. Someday, I would have to tell her why, but not today.
Bay looked at me pensively. Then she said, "Can we go back to kissing? We do
that really well!"
I smiled slightly and leaned closer. I could do that. She grabbed my jacket
and pulled me down. I shrugged out of my jacket and pulled Bay closer. She ran
her hands up and down my arms.
Damn, she is all mine!
#--------------------------
After staying at the park for a couple hours, Emmett told me he had a
surprise at his house. We drove there in record time. His mom wasn't home, he
had signed before we left. That was a relief. I didn't know if I could face
Melody just yet.
When we walked in the door, he took my coat and his and hung them by the
door. Putting his arm around my waist, Emmett lead me to his bedroom. Okay, the
surprise is in his bedroom? Opening his door, we walked in. I looked around
while he walked to his desk.
I could tell right away that Emmett had been taking pictures for as long as
he was old enough to hold a camera steady. Pictures and posters lined his walls.
He was definitely talented. Then something else caught my eye.
Along one of his walls, I saw TONS of pictures of Daphne. Dating from the
time he met her until recently. Okay, that's a little weird now. I knew they
were best friends, but here was the proof, smacking me in the face, that he has
feelings for her. Or, had? I felt like an intruder now. Maybe being with him
wasn't such a great idea….
I turned around to face Emmett, who was still by his desk. What could I say
to him? "Hey, that's a whole lot of stalker like pictures you got there?" Yeah,
that would be weird. Instead, I said "I think you missed one of her brushing her
teeth." Cause you pretty much have every other picture type up there. Emmett
looked at me, confused. "Never mind," I waved it off.
I turned, staring at the pictures again. Emmett came over and nudged my arm.
He had pictures in his hand. I recognized the top one from the junkyard. I
couldn't focus on the pictures in his hands though. I was still focused on the
"Wall of Daphne" in front of me.
Emmett showed me a couple of the pictures, but I wanted answers. I raised my
hands imploringly. Emmett looked around. He sighed and signed, "Daphne and
I…friends."
"Friends?" I repeated his sign. He nodded. "Okay. It's just you have a whole
lot of pictures of your friend, who happens to look a whole lot like Rachel
McAdams." I wasn't jealous. Or, was I?
Emmett looked at me and then walked to his bed. What was he doing? He pulled
a blanket from the bottom of the bed and held it up. Okay, then. He went to the
wall and grabbed a picture off, and then covered the rest with the blanket. "You
don't have to do that," I said to his back. Emmett turned to face me again. In
his hand was a picture of Daphne from a few months ago, I think. He starts to
rip it in half. "No! Okay, okay, okay. It's fine," I told him.
Emmett placed his hands on my arms. He pulled back and signed and mouthed,
"Friends. I promise. That's it." He looked at me, almost begging me to believe
him.
I nodded. "Okay." Emmett placed his hands on my arms again and rubbed up and
down. I was starting to realize he liked to touch me. Not that I minded. I liked
him touching me. It made me feel special. It made me feel wanted.
It made me feel loved….
#----------------------------
After staying at the park for a couple hours, I told Bay I had a surprise at
home. I wanted to show her the pictures from the junkyard. We drove back to my
house in record time. Mom wasn't home, so now was a great time. She would be
gone most of the evening.
When we walked in the door, I took her coat and mine and hung them by the
door. Putting my arm around her waist, I lead her to my bedroom. I really
enjoyed touching her. She was so soft in my arms. Opening the door, we walked
in. Bay looked around while I walked to the desk to get the pictures.
I looked up to see Bay standing in front of my pictures of Daphne. Okay, that
could be awkward. What would she say about it? I knew her well enough to know
she would say something about the pictures on the wall. She turned around,
facing me. She said something about brushing teeth. Huh? That's weird. "Never
mind," she said, waving it off. She looked at the wall again. Okay, time for the
surprise!
I walked over to her, pictures in hand, and nudged her arm. I tried to show
Bay the pictures, but she wasn't paying attention to them. She was staring at my
wall. Then, she raised her hands in question. I looked around. Okay, from her
point of view, this could certainly look bad. But, I only had eyes for Bay now.
I had to make her see that. I sighed and signed, "Daphne and I…friends."
"Friends?" Bay repeated the sign. I nodded. "Okay. It's just you have a whole
lot of pictures of your friend, who happens to look a whole lot like Rachel
McAdams." She wasn't jealous, was she? Not that Bay had a reason to be.
I decided to alleviate some of her unease. I walked to my bed and pulled off
the blanket from the bottom of the bed and held it up. I went to the wall and
grabbed a picture off, and then covered the rest with the blanket. Does she get
it now? I turned around again. I showed her the picture and then started to rip
it in half. "No! Okay, okay, okay. It's fine," Bay said, holding up her hands.
I placed my hands on her arms. She was the one I wanted, not Daphne. I pulled
back, signing and mouthing, "Friends. I promise. That's it." I looked at her,
begging her to believe me.
She nodded. "Okay." Thank you! I placed my hands on her arms again and rubbed
up and down. I loved touching her. It just made my day.
#-----------------------
Darkness had fallen outside. God, had we been here that long? Currently, we
were lying on Emmett's bed, looking at an album of his pictures that he had
taken. I was seeing once again just how talented he was with a camera. He took
pictures of graffiti and made them look beautiful. Emmett pointed out one that
he must have particularly loved. That's okay! I loved it too.
Tapping his arm, I told him, "I love that piece!" signing "love" like he
taught me. He nodded and signed "cool" I think. "Cool?" I asked, making sure I
was right. Emmett smiled and repeated cool. I smiled and repeated it as well.
I had been thinking about MY paintings of "Axe Girl" around the city. I
wanted to tell him, but I was nervous. What would he say? Would he like the fact
that I put up graffiti or would he be turned off by it? I figured he would
understand so, I decided to bite the bullet and tell him. Hesitantly, I tapped
his arm. He looked at me expectantly. Here goes….
"I have to tell you something. It's something I've only told one other
person, and that's cause he discovered me doing it…" I trailed off when Emmett
held up his hands, wanting me to slow down. Oh! Too fast. Got it. He affirmed
this by using his hands like he was talking and pushed down to show I was
talking too fast.
"Oh, sorry! I'm just really excited to tell you cause, you'll get it."
Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He held up his finger, like "1 second." He checked
it quickly and motioned for me to continue. I had a bad feeling now.
"Who is that?" I asked, sure I knew the answer. He waved his hand like
"nothing, promise" and motioned again for me to continue. "Go on." Okay, if you
insist. "Any way, do you know those posters of the girl in the pink dress?
Sometimes she has an axe. Sometimes she has a hammer…" I was interrupted again
by his phone vibrating. Really! Take a clue! He's busy! Emmett held up his hand
again. Oh, come on! This is annoying now.
"Daphne, again?" I said, using her name sign. Emmett shrugged. Really! Now I
wasn't even sure I wanted to continue. It was obvious Daphne really wanted
Emmett for some reason. My frustration showing, I said sarcastically, "Is she
about to get eaten by a lion or something? Is there anything she needs?"
Emmett was clearly interested in what I was telling him. He did a sign I
didn't recognize and motioned again to continue. I was too irritated to ask what
he signed. I barely got "Okay" out when his phone vibrated YET AGAIN!
"Wow, seriously!" I said, sitting up on the bed. Emmett checked his phone YET
AGAIN! I started to get off the bed, when Emmett grabbed my arm.
"Wait, wait," he mouthed. Wait for what? I wasn't going to be able to finish
telling him anyway. Daphne wanted him, and I knew in that moment I would always
be second. "Ding, ding, Daphne calls," I said, trying to get off the bed. Emmett
grabbed my arm again. He signed something about "motorcycle." I was too pissed
to care right now. SHE RUINS EVERYTHING!
"Whatever, Emmett!" I raged, forcing my feet into my shoes. I needed to get
out of there. I couldn't take anymore. Emmett pulled on me and signed something
I was too pissed off to pay attention to. Daphne was always going to be first
with him. Why wasn't I surprised? "I don't know what you're saying and I don't
care!" I finally got my shoes on and stood up to leave. Emmett stood up too. "2
seconds," he mouthed. NO! I was done being second fiddle tonight!
"No! Forget it. Oh, and don't forget your camera!" I walked toward the shrine
on the wall. "I'm sure you'll want to capture this moment for your Daphne
shrine!" I said, pulling down the blanket. I stalked past Emmett out of his
room. My heart was breaking inside, but I wouldn't show it to him.
Once I was outside, the tears started falling. I wanted to scream. Why did
everyone put her before me? My parents, Regina….Emmett. Why wasn't I enough for
anyone in my life? Once again, I felt like I was drowning and couldn't surface
for air. I started walking. I could be home in an hour on foot.
I felt betrayed….
#-----------------------------
Darkness had fallen outside. Had we been here that long? Currently, we were
lying across my bed, looking at an album of pictures that I had taken. I was
proud to show these off. I pointed out one that I really loved.
Tapping my arm, Bay said, "I love that piece!" signing "love" like I taught
her. I nodded and signed "cool." "Cool?" she repeated. I smiled and repeated
cool again. Bay smiled and repeated it as well.
I felt Bay tap my arm again. She looked like something was on her mind.
Something important. I looked at her expectantly.
"I have to tell you something. It's something … only told one … person, and
that's … …. …. discovered … doing it…" I held up my hands. She was talking too
fast. I mimed talking with my hands and pushed down to show I wanted her to slow
down.
"Oh, sorry! I'm just really excited to tell you cause, you'll get it."
Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I held up my finger. "1 second." I checked it
quickly. It was a text from Daphne. I ignored it and motioned for Bay to
continue.
"Who is that?" She asked. I didn't want to tell her it was Daphne so I waved
my hand, "nothing, promise" and motioned again for her to continue. "Go on."
"Any way, do you know those posters of the girl in the pink dress? Sometimes she
has an axe. Sometimes she has a hammer…" Again, my phone vibrated. Really,
Daphne! Right now! I held up my hand again and checked. Yup, Daphne. I could
see Bay was getting annoyed now.
"Daphne, again?" Bay said, using her name sign. I shrugged. She was already
pissed off. I could see it in her expression. She said sarcastically, "Is she
about to get eaten by a lion or something? Is there anything she needs?"
I was more interested in what Bay was trying to tell me, then Daphne's issue.
I motioned again for her to continue. She barely got "Okay" out when my phone
vibrated YET AGAIN! What is so damn important that Daphne had to text me 3
times?
"Wow, seriously!" she said, sitting up on the bed. I checked the phone YET
AGAIN! Okay, enough was enough. Bay started to get off the bed, so I grabbed her
arm.
"Wait, wait," I mouthed. I needed to find out what she wanted or she would
just keep texting me. "Ding, ding, Daphne calls," Bay said, trying to get off
the bed. I grabbed her arm again. Hold on a second! I signed "She probably needs
a ride." Bay was a little too pissed to care, however.
"Whatever, Emmett!" she said, trying to force her feet into her shoes. Damn
it! I pulled on her again and signed, "I'm going to text her and see what she
wants." Probably not a smart thing to say from the look on Bay's face. "I don't
know what you're saying and I don't care!" she forced out. She finally got her
shoes on and stood up to leave. I stood up too. Damn you, Daphne! "2 seconds," I
mouthed. Please!
"No! Forget it. Oh, and don't forget your camera!" Bay walked toward my wall.
"I'm sure you'll want to capture this moment for your Daphne shrine!" She said,
yanking down the blanket. She rushed past me before I could stop her. I wanted
to kill Daphne right now!
Checking my phone again, I looked at the 3 messages.
"I need a lift home. Can you come get me?"
"Hello! Emmett, where are you?"
"EMMETT! ANSWER ME, PLEASE!"
Sending her a text back, I said, "Where are you?" and waited for her reply.
I think Bay felt betrayed…and I was the cause.
#--------------------
When I finally got home, I walked into my studio and slumped against the
counter. Why was this always happening to me? I thought Emmett would be
different. Guess I was wrong about that. Daphne would always be first with
everyone important in my life. I wasn't even first with my boyfriend. Boyfriend?
That's a joke. I don't know what we are, but dating is probably not it. He
couldn't even put me first tonight. It was all about HER! Again! Her wants, her
needs. Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn't want to share Emmett now. I
wanted him to myself.
To be fair though, Daphne didn't know I was over there. How could she? She
doesn't even know there is anything going on between him and I. I want to stay
mad, but I can feel my anger slipping away. What a mess!
Feeling like I needed to talk to someone, anyone at this point who wasn't
related to me, I called the number Ty gave me for the Army base he was at for
training. Here goes nothing.
"Ring, Ring, Ring, Fort Benning Army Base. This is Lieutenant Johnson
speaking. How may I assist you?"
"Hi, could I speak to Ty Mendoza? I mean, Tyler."
"What is his rank, please ma'am?"
"I guess he's a private. What do you call a guy who's in training?"
"Sorry, ma'am. No phone calls to new recruits unless it's a family member."
"Oh, no. Please, couldn't you just bend the rules just this once. I really
need to talk to him."
"Did he impregnate you, ma'am?"
"No! He didn't get me pregnant!" On second thought. "If he did, could
I talk to him?"
CLICK! Okay! That went well. "Way to protect and serve!"
Next, I tried Liam…
"Ring, Ring, Ring-This is Liam. Leave me a message!"
"Hey, Liam! It's Bay. Um, I'm just checking in. It's been a while since we
last spoke. Things just got so weird between us. You know what? Just call me
back when you get a chance." I finished weakly.
"What are you doing?" I heard Toby ask. How long has he been standing there?
And what did he hear?
"Why are you spying on me?" I retorted.
"Why are you taking a trip down "I dated Bay Kennish" memory lane? What's
going on?"
I couldn't tell him about what happened at Emmett's. It was kind of
embarrassing now. "Nothing," I told him point blank. His stare said he didn't
believe me. "It's just, sometimes it's nice to talk to a guy who seemed to care
about you." Even though both of said guys were in Daphne's pocket.
For the first time, I noticed the magazine in Toby's hand. Pulling it up, he
said, "Well, maybe this will cheer you up," and opened it. Inside was a picture
of Dad holding a baseball…in his tighty-whities? Oh, god!
"Oh my GOD!" I said, coming closer. I took the magazine and stared at it. Of
course, Toby laughed at my reaction. Wonder what his was?
"I know. I'm not sure what's worst? The goofy smile or the hairy chest?" he
said with a semi-straight face.
I was so happy to be able to utter this next sentence. "All I can say is, I'm
so glad I'm not related to him!"
"Hey, you just drunk-dialed Liam when you were sober. Bad judgment runs in
your gene pool, too." You have no idea!
"Thanks," I said, glaring at him. He, of course, smiles and holds up the
picture of Dad again. Payback time! "Kind of looks like you." Take that!
"Shut up!" Toby said firmly.
After Toby's unexpected interruption, I realized I wasn't mad anymore. I just
felt…sad.
What was going to happen next?
#---------------------------
Driving to pick up Daphne, I couldn't stop thinking about Bay. I knew she was
mad. What could I say to her to make her forgive me? Maybe I could buy her some
art supplies! Suck up a little bit. She would be sure to forgive me after that.
Seeing the car up ahead that Daphne told me to look for, I slowed down and
pulled up to the window. I saw Daphne say something about "her ride." Was that
Wilkie? Holy geez…..
Wilkie rolled down his window and turned to Daphne. "What?" I saw her say. I
saw his lips move. Did he just call her a liar? What did I get in the middle of?
"Hey, buddy," I saw him say. "Nice taxi service you run. Do you do this for
everybody or just special friends?" Was he drunk or something? Daphne climbed
out of the car.
"Wilkie? Your taste in guys has gone from bad to worst!" I told her, a little
annoyed still. She called me for a ride and she was with THIS idiot! I was
better off with Bay. I knew I should have shut my phone off!
"It's not like that!" Daphne retorted. OH REALLY! My eyes tell me otherwise.
I noticed her shirt then. It was crookedly buttoned. Did they…? EEEWWWWW!
"You missed a button," I told her sarcastically. When did she lower her
standards? Did she have NO self respect?
She of course, glared at me. "Can we just go?" she signed sharply. Yes,
master!
Daphne bent toward the window. I couldn't see what they were saying, but they
talked for about a minute. Finally, Daphne faced me again. For the first time, I
noticed the fumes of alcohol on her breath. They were drinking, too! Now,
everything made sense.
"Are you drunk?" I asked her suspiciously.
"I was," she answered honestly.
"What's wrong?" Even though I was mad about my ruined evening with Bay,
Daphne was still my best friend. I didn't want to see her hurt.
"I'll tell you when we get there," was her cryptic response.
"Where are we going? Home?" I asked.
Daphne paused a second. "Yeah, I wanna go home." Does she mean her old home?
She got on the bike. Wilkie waved and we took off.
What could possibly happen next?
#------------------------
Toby and I heard everyone talking outside and went to investigate. Regina and
my parents were outside and Regina…..HAD THE GUITAR CASE!
"I don't really play. It's just an old case I'm getting rid of," Regina was
telling my parents. GETTING RID OF? NO!
"That's a guitar case!" I said, trying to sound surprised. I would find out
what was in it!
"It's taking up too much space in my closet," Regina said, trying to stuff it
in the trunk. By all means, give it to me!
"Your getting rid of it?" I said stupidly. Duh!
"Yeah, I'm, um, clearing out some things."
"Uh, hey. Could I keep it?" Please, oh, please! "I think it would make a
really cool art piece."
"You know. It's from an ex-boyfriend and I really don't want to be seeing it
around, so I'd prefer to get rid of it," Regina said definitively, shutting the
trunk. "Symbolic, you know?" Uh, not really. I want that guitar case!
Dad commented about going to Goodwill so late and thinking they might be
closed. Regina just said, "Only one way to find out," and drove away. Okay, that
was WAY past weird.
#------------------------
Daphne and I pulled up to her old house. We walked around outside for awhile.
Daphne was strangely quiet. What was she thinking about? Finally we looked in
her old bedroom window. It was dark now, no one lived there.
"I loved this place," Daphne said. "It was perfect."
Trying to cheer her up, I said, "Now, you've got a swimming pool, tennis
courts, a basketball hoop."
"I didn't ask for any of this, you know." You didn't ask to be born into a
rich family? "I wasn't looking for answers. I liked my life just the way it
was," Daphne said honestly.
"I know." What else could I say?
"I want it back. I want my old life back. Before we all knew."
I'm still confused. "What happened tonight?" Something was definitely eating
at her.
Then she told me something that I couldn't believe. "My mom knew about the
switch." NO WAY! "She knew it for years. And never said anything."
My next thoughts were about Bay. Did she know? She couldn't know. She would
have said something. Just to be on the safe side though…act dumb.
"What? Does Bay know?" I had to know!
Daphne grabbed my arm. Uh-oh. "Why are you so obsessed with Bay?" Shit, does
she suspect something? Cover your back, Emmett!
"I'm not. But, she deserves to know too." If you don't tell her, I will.
"I need you on my side right now." I'm on both sides now. Bay's and Daphne's.
"I am. I always am," I told her.
"I can't tell anyone. My mom asked me not to. I don't know what to do." Me
neither. I couldn't lie to my girlfriend. But, I couldn't betray Daphne, either.
I'm so screwed.
Just then, Daphne's phone vibrated. She looked at it, and then turned it
toward me. It was a text from Bay. "What was in the guitar case?" Well, shit.
Now I really was stuck.
I convinced Daphne to come home with me and sleep on the couch. Partially
because if I gave her a ride back home Bay would be there. Not that I was
avoiding Bay, but her seeing Daphne and me probably wouldn't go over well.
The next morning, I came downstairs to see Daphne sprawled on the couch,
sound asleep still. I had been awake for awhile, thinking about last night. I
really did need to see Bay, but didn't know if I could hide what Daphne had told
me. I sighed, irritated. Only together 1 day, and already I was keeping things
from Bay. What a mess!
I stared at Daphne for a minute. She was a messy sleeper. Her hair always got
in her face and she always had the blankets wrapped around her. I wonder how Bay
sleeps? Is she messy too, or does she sleep like a log, not moving at all? Was
she a morning person, or was she a slow riser? If it was Bay on the couch, I'd
wake her up with a kiss. Not doing that with Daphne, though. Gently, I rubbed
Daphne's arm to wake her up. She woke up groggy and looked around. At least she
was sober now.
"Thanks for letting me crash. Mom would've killed me if she smelled alcohol
on my breath." Here I thought it was my idea.
"You gonna go talk to her?" I asked, dreading the answer.
Daphne shrugged. "She's got work. I've got school. I guess I'll find out the
rest tonight." Something told me I would too.
Daphne sighed and sat up to put her shoes on. She got a weird look on her
face. A second too late, I remembered the pictures on the table of Bay and I
from the junkyard. Too late! Daphne grabbed them and looked at a few. Please
don't say anything bad. I can't deal with it right now.
"Where did you take these?" Again with the sour faces. I am really tired of
those now.
"The junkyard, that day I gave her a lift." The day I realized I might have
feelings for her. Daphne looked at me with a disbelieving expression. "You know
me. I take pictures of everything," I said, trying to sound nonchalant about it.
I do take pictures all the time, so it's totally believable, right?
She gave me a look that clearly told me she didn't believe me.
"Come on. We better get going." Anything to get her away from the pictures!
#---------------------
The next day, I was staring intently at my phone. Daphne didn't come home
last night and she never answered my text either. Did she stay at Emmett's? He
hadn't contacted me either. So, here I was, staring at my phone, willing one of
them to contact me.
Mom walked in with a jacket on that should have been outlawed in the '80's.
Holy shoulder pad!
"What do you think?" Mom asked. Seriously?
Trying not to laugh, I told her, "Way to much shoulder pad . You want to look
confident. Not like a linebacker."
"Okay, well, what about this one?" she said, holding up an ugly gray striped
jacket.
"Oh, that's nice, It looks like you're going on vacation in the Bahamas."
"Not exactly the look I'm looking for," Mom said, taking off the first
jacket. "I hope I don't screw this up. I'm gonna kill your father."
I asked the question that had been on my mind for awhile. "Why is this
lawsuit so important to him? It's not like we're hurting for money."
Mom came back around the corner. She stared at me for a moment. "I think your
dad feels like this switch was his fault. Like, he should have noticed or
something. I think this is his way of making up for it."
"It's that one," I told Mom, indicating the jacket she was currently wearing.
"Hmm, this one?" she said.
"It's a great contrast with your hair. Also, it makes you sound pretty wise,"
I told her with a smile on my face.
"Really?" Mom said, disbelief on her face.
I just shook my head and told her to get going. After my mother left the room
I laid there for a minute considering what she had just said. Was this lawsuit
really more about him than it was Daphne and I? Does my father really only find
fault in himself and…..not with me? So many questions and not enough answers. I
whipped out my phone ready to text Emmett to see what he thinks. But as I sit
looking at his name emblazoned on my phone I remember my little outburst
last night. Does he even want to talk to me anymore?
Deciding that I wasn't waiting anymore, I borrowed Toby's car and drove to
Carlton. I had to talk to Daphne about that case!
As luck would have it, I saw her walking to her next class. Perfect! I waved
my arms to alert her to my presence. Daphne got a very confused look on her
face.
"Okay, what was in the guitar case?" I asked her as soon as I got close
enough for her to read my lips.
"What are you doing here?" she asked me, clearly surprised to see me. I don't
have time for this!
"The guitar case! Regina's guitar case," I signed and spoke. Come on, quit
stalling and tell me! "The one that she suddenly had to donate in the middle of
the night. What did you find in there?" I signed "find."
Daphne looked conflicted. "I want to tell you, but I can't. You'll have to
ask your mother." Huh?
"My mom?" What would my mom know about it? Wait a second…..is she talking
about Regina? "Do you mean Regina?"
"Yeah," she confirmed. "Because she's certainly not mine," Daphne said point
blank. What the hell is going on that I don't know about? "I got to go," were
her parting words before she turned and walked away.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I hung around for a few minutes, hoping to see Emmett. After several minutes,
I gave up and walked back to Toby's car and got in. Guess I couldn't apologize
today.
#--------------------
I saw Bay talking to Daphne about the guitar case. I wanted to go up to her,
but I didn't know if it was the right time. Bay looked like she was on a mission
and I didn't want to hinder that. I knew Daphne wouldn't tell her anything and
that made it harder for me. I had to lie to my girlfriend to protect a secret
Daphne entrusted me with about the switch. It was easier for me to avoid Bay.
I can't help feeling like I'm a chicken for taking the coward's way out of
dealing with this secret. Maybe I am chicken. I see Daphne walk away and Bay
starts looking around. Is she looking for me? I stepped back, hiding in the
shade of the trees. After a few minutes, Bay gives up and walks back to her car.
The look on her face freezes me. She looks defeated and hurt. Unconsciously, I
step forward a little bit.
Then I remembered her "temper tantrum" in my room. Arguably, I knew she
wasn't genuinely angry. I knew she was hurt and I saw the fear in her eyes when
she looked at all those pictures of Daphne. I knew she felt betrayed. I couldn't
stand for her to feel like that.
Should I go talk to her? I can see Bay still sitting in her car. Is she
hoping to see me? Finally, she starts the car and drives away. Stupid! Now I
lost my chance!
I see the flashing lights in the quad indicating that next period is
starting. Shit! I'm so gonna be late for class. But, in a way, it's worth it.
I got to see Bay's beautiful face!
#-------------------------------
I had finally decided I was just going to confront Regina directly. I was
tired of the cat and mouse games. I would know what was in that damn case!
Finally, Regina pulled into the driveway. Before she even stopped the car, I
was up and moving toward her. I stopped in front of her door. As she opened it,
the look on her face told me she knew something was up.
"Hey," she said. Enough bullshit!
"What was in that guitar case?" I said angrily.
Regina's face registered surprise and….guilt? She tried to walk around me.
Oh, no way!
"Daphne told me that she opened it. If she knows, I want to know too. What is
in there?"
Before Regina could answer me, I heard my parents car pull up. Great, another
distraction! Little did I know. My parents got out of the car. My dad looked
seriously pissed off. Regina and I exchanged looks. This doesn't look good.
"Regina, would you join us in the house, please," my father gritted out. Oh,
man. This really doesn't look good. "Bay, you too, please. This involves you as
well," my mother chimed in.
We all walked to the living room. Daphne was waiting for us. How did she
know? I stood next to my mother, wondering what in the hell was going on. Regina
stood in the center of the living room. All of a sudden, mom and dad started
blasting her.
"Did you switch the kids?" Dad said.
"I thought we were in this together," Mom accused at the same time.
"No, I didn't know," was all I caught from Regina.
My parents and Regina kept talking over each other making it impossible to
know what they were saying. Daphne was just sitting there. Must be nice. I was
suddenly envious of the fact that she couldn't hear them. As if I could be so
lucky. Then I caught my father talking about Regina finding out earlier.
Wait, what?
"You lied to me," Mom screeched.
"Just let me explain," Regina finally got in a sentence. But now I
interrupted.
"Wait, you knew…WHAT?" I said, my jaw dropping. Regina looked scared and my
parents were stilled pissed.
"Okay. Just, give me a minute," Regina said, trying to collect herself.
"Fine. Talk. Go!" Dad said in a clipped voice.
"Okay," she said very quietly. For the first time, I really took in the look
on Daphne's face. She looked….disgusted and angry. Mom sat on the couch. Dad
stood, staring daggers at Regina. I was just confused. Then I heard a speech
that turned my world upside down, again.
"I found out," Regina started, signing for Daphne's benefit, "12 ½ years ago.
When Daphne was 3. Angelo, Daphne's father, he was on me, ever since Daphne was
a baby." It was the first time Regina actually said his name. "Why didn't she
look like him? How could she be so blonde? And Blue eyed? And so fair? I had to
have had an affair." Regina looked bitter at this. "But, I hadn't. Plus, we were
fighting all the time. I mean, I was drinking. He was drinking. It wasn't my
finest hour." Mom looked disgusted now, too. "And then, she got sick. And, I
know you think it was my fault, and I thought that for a long time too."
Dad interrupted. "Regina, none of this has to do with anything."
"It was meningitis, okay! You know that. But, you don't know how bad it was.
I mean, if you don't catch it in time, within a few hours, you could die. And
sitting in that hospital, waiting to see if she was going to be okay, I would
not wish that on any parent." Regina was starting to cry now.
"What do you want from us, sympathy?" Mom asked.
"No! I just need you to understand."
Next, Daphne interrupted. "Just get to the part where you knew," she said
angrily. Regina looked at me, but it was hard to read her face.
"They were going to give her an antibiotic, that had a chance of making her
deaf. I mean, but what was my choice?"
"Well, actually, if you had shared this information, other resources could
have been brought to bear on this situation," Dad was shouting.
At the same time, Regina was saying, "I didn't know by then! I didn't know! I
didn't know!"
Daphne shouted, "Stop! Please, just let her finish!"
"She was in the ICU for 8 days, and I never left her side. And when she got
better, and failed the hearing test. Well, Angelo, by now, he was sure she
wasn't his."
"I knew it," Daphne stated. "I knew that's why he left."
"He was gonna leave anyway. I honestly believe that." Regina told her. "And I
am not defending him, but you have to understand. Neither of us knew how to deal
with any of this."
"So then? You found out then?" Dad asked, slightly calmer.
Regina nodded slightly. "Angelo secretly took a swab of her saliva and had
her DNA tested. And, he came back with the results, saying he knew it all along.
That she wasn't his. She was someone else's. You know, we had a huge fight, and
I said that it was impossible! He was lying! He was just trying to find some
reason to leave us! But, he left anyway."
Dad and Mom had finally calmed down. They actually looked sorry for her now.
But, Regina wasn't finished yet.
"And, I looked at my Blonde, Blue eyed little girl, and I had her tested
again. And the results came back the same. She wasn't biologically related to
me."
Mom grabbed some tissues and handed them to Regina. "Why didn't you say
anything?" Mom wanted to know. Yeah, me too!
Regina's next words froze my heart. "Because she was MY daughter by then. I
was an alcoholic, unemployed single parent. I was broke! I had nothing. Nothing
but this little baby, that everyone thought was mine. Who I loved, so much."
I could only stare at her. I felt like I was in a train wreck. Tell me this
isn't real? This has to be a nightmare!
"I was a mess. I mean, I was scared if I told the truth, they would have
yanked her away from me and given both kids to the other family."
"We wouldn't have done that to you," Mom told her honestly.
"You weren't real to me then."
"Did Grandma know?" Daphne cut in.
"No one knew. I didn't tell anybody."
"I don't understand how not telling anybody is making things right?" Mom put
in.
"I looked around at my life, and I made a decision. I would clean myself up.
I would figure it out, and I would be the best mom that I could be!" Everyone
continued to stare at Regina. "I joined AA, I reconnected with my mom, and I got
it together. And I think, I did a pretty good job!" she finished softly.
This whole time, I never once heard her mention me. Did I matter to her at
all? Or, was it all about Daphne, as usual? Didn't I matter? What was I to her?
I needed to ask so badly.
"What about me?" I asked quietly. Everyone turned to stare at me. I didn't
care. I wanted answers now!
"You knew?" I asked, heartbroken. "All this time, and you never came for me?"
"Oh, honey," Regina started, stepping toward me. I stepped back, not wanting
her near me. "I wanted you. Of course, I wanted you! I mean, I even hired a
private investigator. He came back with photos, and bios of your parents. That's
what was in the guitar case." You spied on me! "Pictures of you. Tons of
pictures of you. I followed you constantly." And stalked me, too!
"That makes it worst," I said, tears forming. I was going to lose it soon. I
could feel it.
"Please, try to understand. You were Bay Kennish by then. And I would have
been ripping you from the only family that you ever knew," Regina's voice
started breaking. I don't care about that.
"But, I was your daughter. Me, not her, and you chose her over me," I said,
feeling broken.
Mom came over to me. "Honey.." she started. No! I would have MY say now!
"NO! You knew? All those years, you knew about me. You followed me, and you
never once came for me!"
"I did what I thought was best for you!" Regina tried to explain. Yeah,
right.
"No. You did what was best for you!" With those parting words, I turned
around and walked out of the room.
"Bay?" I heard Regina say. No, I was DONE listening to her.
Walking outside, I grabbed my phone. I texted the only person I wanted to see
right now. The only person I could see….. The only person I hoped wanted to see
me.
"Emmett, I need you. Come get me, please!"
A minute later, I got his reply. "I'm on my way."
I was never so happy to see that answer in my life.
#--------------------------
All afternoon, I hadn't heard from Bay or Daphne. What the hell was going on
over there? Did Bay know yet? I contemplated texting her and then thought better
of it. If something was going down, which I was sure it was, I didn't want to
interrupt and cause problems. Besides, I wasn't even sure Bay wanted to talk to
me anymore. After the other night, I realized that all the pictures of Daphne on
my wall needed to change. She was no longer the most important person in my life
and I had to show it. So, I made a decision.
The wall of Daphne had to go!
My mind set, I started to take down pictures. Suddenly, my phone vibrated.
Checking the screen, I see a message from Bay. A sense of relief washed over me.
She still wants to talk to me. However, reading the text made the happy feeling
evaporate. In it's place was a wave of sadness.
"Emmett, I need you. Come get me, please!"
She knew. She knew about the switch now. And she wanted me to come get her.
"I'm on my way." I would never tell her no.
Grabbing my coat, I raced out the door.
#----------------------------
When we got back to Emmett's house, he led me back upstairs to his room. I
walked in, saw his Daphne wall, and almost chickened out. But, I needed him too
much. I just needed him to be here.
"What happened?" he signed. His face clearly showed he was worried about me.
At least someone was.
"She knew! All this time, she knew. She knew about the switch. She just shut
her eyes and pretended like I didn't even exist. Like it was more important not
to risk losing Daphne then to even try and come get me.." I trailed off when
Emmett signed "slow down." I can't. I'm sorry.
"No! Okay, I don't want to slow down. I want to say what I need to say, and I
want you to understand me." He's signing "slow down" again. Maybe this whole
thing is a huge mistake. "But, I can't sign and you can't hear." His face is
confused again. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have called him. I need to
leave. This will never work! "I don't even know what I'm doing here? This isn't
going to work out!" I tried to run out the door.
Emmett grabbed my arm. Turning around to face him, I feel the tears threaten
to fall. I'm such an idiot. Liam was right. There is way to much drama with me.
Emmett doesn't seem to care though. He mouths, "Okay," and pulls on my arm.
After all of this, he still wants me. He is the only one who wants me. Even with
all my flaws, he still wants to be in my life. The feelings are overwhelming
right now. I have reached my breaking point. The tears start flowing. I allow
him to pull me into his arms. I let all the pain loose with my tears. My knees
gave out and Emmett followed me down, still holding me tightly against him.
Seconds, minutes, hours…. I lost track of how long we stayed like that.
Finally, I felt cried out. Pulling back, I see Emmett staring at me intently.
This is becoming a habit. Breaking down in his arms.
"I'm sorry," I signed. Emmett shook his head. "No need," he signed back.
"No, I'm sorry for everything. The other day, just now. I NEED you in my
life. I shouldn't have acted like that. That was so immature and I am so
terribly sorry for it." I needed to apologize for my childish behavior. Emmett
needed to know that I did appreciate him.
Taking my face in his hands, he kissed me gently. "As I NEED you in my life.
I'm sorry, too. I should have realized all of that would bother you. I hurt your
feelings and I hope you can forgive me, as well." Emmett signed and mouthed
slowly.
"Apologizes cancel each other out. I've forgiven and forgotten if you can."
"Yes, I can," he signed before pulling me into another kiss.
I think that is the moment I fell in love….
#----------------------
I picked Bay up outside her house. She said she wanted to go back to mine.
She got on and back home I drove. When we got there, I lead her upstairs to my
room. She looked at the Daphne wall but made no comment.
Finally, she turned back around to face me. "What happened?" I signed. I
wanted her to share this with me. To know she could trust me.
She started talking fast right away. I couldn't catch everything. "She knew!
All … time, … knew. She knew about … switch. She just shut … eyes … pretended …
I didn't … exist. Like it … more important … to risk losing Daphne then to … try
and … get me.." She trailed off when I signed "slow down."
"No! Okay, I … want … slow down. I want … say what I … to say, and I … you to
understand …." I sign "slow down" again. I see the frustration on her face. I am
not making this easy for her. My deafness is suddenly a hindrance. "But, I can't
sign and you can't hear." I'm confused. Is she regretting us now? "I don't even
know what I'm doing here? This isn't going to work out!" She tried to run out
the door. Oh, no you don't!
I grabbed her arm. Turning her around to face me, I see the tears threatening
to fall. I mouthed, "Okay," and pulled on her arm. I need her to see that I
still want her. That I still want to be with her. I know she has reached her
breaking point. The tears start flowing. I pulled her into my arms. I felt her
sobs vibrate through me, felt the tears on my shirt. Her knees gave out and I
followed her down, still holding her tightly.
Seconds, minutes, hours…. I lost track of how long we stayed like that.
Finally, I felt her sobbing stop. She pulls back, and I stare at her intently.
This is becoming a habit. Staring at her.
"I'm sorry," she signed. I shook my head. "No need," I signed back. Never
feel sorry for crying on my shoulder.
"No, I'm sorry for everything. The other day, just now. I NEED you in my
life. I shouldn't have acted like that. That was so immature and I am so
terribly sorry for it." I think she needed me to know that she appreciated me. I
already knew that though.
Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her gently. "As I NEED you in my life.
I'm sorry, too. I should have realized all of that would bother you. I hurt your
feelings and I hope you can forgive me, as well." I signed and mouthed slowly.
Can I ever make her hurt go away? I didn't know, but I damn sure wasn't going to
stop trying.
"Apologizes cancel each other out. I've forgiven and forgotten if you can."
"Yes, I can," I signed before pulling her into another kiss.
I think that is the moment I fell in love….
#------------------------
After a couple hours, I decided I needed to go home and face everyone. I had
run out with no explanation and Mom had already texted me several times. I
ignored them. Emmett dropped me off at the end of the driveway. Before he left,
he gave me a kiss and signed, "Always." I knew what he meant. He would always be
there for me.
As I neared the house, I saw Regina hugging Toby. She had her trunk open and
I could see a bag sticking out. Is she leaving?
"Bay," Regina said. I can't talk to her. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to
talk to her again. Ignoring her, I walk into the house.
I've had enough drama for the night.
#-------------------------
Disclaimer: Switched At Birth is owned by Lizzy Weiss and ABC Family. No
copyright infringement is meant. I am using the characters for entertainment
purposes only.
Disclaimer: There will be "M" rated themes in later chapters......
#-----------
Chapter 6- episode 8
I can't believe it! Emmett kissed me! On the lips! That moment just
kept replaying in my head. I was shocked, surprised and giddy. All the way home,
I had a huge smile on my face. Toby thought I was on some "happy" pills. I said
I just felt like smiling. And I did….
Until that night. Alone in my room, the doubts started to creep in. Why did
he kiss me? Does he really like me…like that? Or, is he using me as a
replacement for Daphne? I know he has feelings for her. So, why kiss me?
Suddenly the kiss that meant so much to me started to make me wonder… Was it me
he actually wanted, or was I the second choice after he couldn't have the one he
really wanted?
I had to talk to Emmett. What was I going to say though?
#------------------------
Kissing Bay was the best thing that ever happened to me. Her soft lips
pressed against mine. That memory was seared in my brain, on constant replay.
All the way home, I had a huge smile on my face. My mother thought I was drunk.
I told her I just felt like smiling. And I did…..
Until that night. Daphne texted me, wanting to hang out. Now that I had
kissed Bay, showing her I had feelings for her, I was kind of uncomfortable
having Daphne over here, alone. I mean, she's my best friend and yes, I want to
hang out, but…..
She wasn't the most important person in my life anymore. She wasn't Bay. I
ended up texting back that I had a lot of homework and couldn't hang out
tonight. Daphne texted back that it wasn't a problem and she would just see me
at school.
I had to talk to Bay. What would I say though?
#----------------------
I had decided to visit Emmett at his school. I needed answers and I was going
to get them! After having Toby drop me off a couple blocks from Carlton, I
walked there and found his bike. Sitting down on the curb, I waited.
And waited….
And waited….
And waited…. Geez, what's taking him so long? Sighing for the 10th
time or so, I finally saw Emmett. He was walking out with another boy. They were
signing back and forth. Finally, they did the shoulder bump thing all guys seem
to do at the end of a conversation.
Emmett got closer and spotted me. His steps slowed down a little. Bet he
wasn't expecting to see me here. Standing up, I said, "Hey, you."
Emmett stared at me for a second. Then he folded his arms across his chest
and gave me a crooked smile.
"Yeah, no. Don't give me the sultry James Dean smirk." Damn, he does look HOT
doing it though! Focus, Bay! Focus! "What the hell were you thinking kissing me
like that?" I wasn't really angry, I just wanted to know why! "I had everything
planned out! I was going to mope around my art studio, painting melodramatic
paintings, listening to Adele…pining for Ty…" Not really, but I had to sound
convincing. "And you showed up, and you kissed me, and you ruined everything!"
Kind of truth. "Now I can't get you out of my head!" Very true!
Emmett was just staring at me. When I told him I couldn't get him out of my
head, he actually looked happy! Okay, good sign. Then my nerves kicked in, and I
started rambling.
"What was that even about? Okay. Are you just messing with me? Did it mean
anything to you at all? Are you just using me to get to Daphne?" On second
thought, maybe I don't want to know THAT answer.
"You know what? I…I don't even really care! I'm just really…annoyed!" I said,
ending my tirade.
Emmett calmly signed something. I think he asked if I was finished. "Does
that mean "finished?"
He nodded slightly. Showing my frustration, I over signed what he just showed
me. "Yes, I am "Finished!" Your turn…" Okay, mister! Start talking…err, signing.
Emmett stepped toward me and pulled me in, his lips descending on mine at the
same time. This kiss was not like the first kiss. This was more primal. Like he
was staking his claim on my heart. Automatically, I stepped more toward him and
he deepened the kiss. HOLY MOTHER…..!
This felt like he was the only boy I was ever meant to kiss in my life. It
felt natural and easy being in his arms. I felt like that was were I belonged.
My hands started having a mind of their own, roaming over his hair and
shoulders.
After kissing me breathless, Emmett pulled back. He signed and mouthed
slowly, "Does that answer your questions or do I need to show you again how much
I want to be with you?"
"No, that answered them just fine. Thanks for clarifying," I told him,
feeling giddy. He wanted ME! He smiled and kissed me again. I could totally get
used to this.
#----------------------
I was late getting out of school. Jackson and I had a project due in Science
and we had been working on that for an hour. Finally, we decided to call it
quits for the day and head home. As we walked out to the parking lot, we made
plans to finish the project the next day. After we did the shoulder bump, he
waved and headed toward his mom's car. I was just nearing my bike when I saw Bay
sitting on the curb, waiting. I slowed down my steps, gauging her mood.
Uh-oh! This could go either way. She didn't look mad, but maybe she was
building up to it. I did, after all, kiss her and walk away without a word. What
was she going to say?
When I got close enough to understand her, she stood up. "Hey, you!" she
said. So far, so good. I gave her a crooked smile, folding my arms, waiting.
"Yeah, no. Don't give me the sultry James Dean smirk." She thinks I'm sultry?
"What the hell were you thinking kissing me like that?" I was thinking I wanted
to show her I wanted her. "I had everything planned out! I was going to mope
around my art studio, painting melodramatic paintings, listening to Adele…pining
for Ty…" She's STILL hung up on that tool? "And you showed up, and you kissed
me, and you ruined everything!" Maybe not! "Now I can't get you out of my head!"
I just stared at her. So, she liked the kiss. Good! I could tell she was
getting nervous. Her rambling next proved it. I only caught every few words,
though.
"What was … … about? Okay. Are … just messing …me? Did … mean anything … you
… all? Are you … using me … get … Daphne?" How could she think I was USING HER!
I WANTED HER!
"You know what? I…I don't even really care! I'm just really…annoyed!" she
said, winding down, effectively ending her speech.
I calmly asked if she was done. "Does that mean "finished?" she asked me,
unsure of my sign.
I nodded slightly. "Yes, I am "Finished!" She over signed. "Your turn…" Okay,
time to prove myself to her.
I stepped toward her and pulled her in, kissing her passionately. This kiss
was not like the first kiss. This was more primal. I was staking my claim to her
heart. She stepped more toward me and I deepened the kiss. YES….!
I felt like she was the only girl I was ever meant to kiss in my life. She
felt natural in my arms, like she was made just for me. I felt like that was
were she belonged. Her hands started having a mind of their own, roaming over my
hair and shoulders. I kept my hands at her waist, but pulled her tighter toward
me. I never wanted to let go.
After kissing her breathless, I pulled back. Did she get it now? I signed and
mouthed slowly, "Does that answer your questions or do I need to show you again
how much I want to be with you?"
"No, that answered them just fine. Thanks for clarifying," she told me,
looking a little flushed. I had her now, and I wasn't letting go. I smiled and
kissed her again. I could totally get used to this.
#---------------------
We decided to head to the park. Emmett ran to his mom's car and dropped off
his book bag. Opening the trunk, he pulled out a blanket. I raised an eyebrow in
question. He just shrugged and smiled. I shook my head and grinned.
"Ready?" he signed.
"Yes, I'm ready," I said, repeating his sign.
Kissing me again, he handed me his spare helmet. Rolling up the blanket,
Emmett placed it in a side compartment I hadn't noticed before. He got on and
stood waiting for me. Here we go again.
This time, I held on much tighter. Not because I was scared, but because I
now felt I had the right to be that close to Emmett.
Were we dating now? Presumably yes. I doubted he would have kissed me the way
he did if he wasn't expecting us to date now. What a kiss it was though! My toes
were still curling from it.
Once we reached the park, we found a secluded spot and laid the blanket down.
I started to sit, but was caught off guard when Emmett grabbed me around my
waist. The next thing I knew, I saw a flash. Emmett had just taken a picture of
us. I swear that boy has his camera permanently attached to his hand. Someday,
they may have to surgically remove it. That thought made me giggle to myself.
"To remember today," he mouthed.
We tumbled onto the blanket. He leaned over me and kissed me breathless. God,
this boy knows to kiss!
Now that we were dating, I became curious about the different signs that you
would use with your significant other. I knew "making out" and "love", but was
unsure of others. I was pretty sure I would need to know how to tell him I
wanted a kiss, or how to tell people we were dating. When Emmett pulled back for
a second to look at me, I asked curiously, "How do you say "kiss" in sign
language?"Emmett pulled back and showed me the sign for kiss. Then he signed a
kiss on the cheek. I laughed.
Emmett kissed me again. Pulling away a second time, I asked, "How do you say
laugh?" Again he showed me and I mimicked him. "Laugh." He smiled and pulled me
in again. A girl could certainly get used to this! Something else was on my mind
though. Something I wasn't sure he would like me asking.
Pushing Emmett back slightly, I asked, "Can I ask you a question?" Emmett
fell back on the blanket, looking exasperated. Finally, he sits up with a smile
and motions for me to ask my question. Here goes nothing.
"Do you ever speak? Like, with your voice?" I asked him, signing very little.
Emmett stared at me. Finally he shook his head no.
"Why not? Is it cause you're embarrassed, cause you don't have to be with
me," I said quickly, hoping he wasn't angry.
Emmett signed what looked like, "I don't need to." Just to make sure I was
right, I repeated his sign. "You don't need to?" He nodded.
"Well, yeah. You haven't needed to, because you're usually around people who
sign. But, with me..." I left the sentence hanging.
Understanding dawned on Emmett's face. "You have to learn to sign," he signed
and mouthed.
"I know! I'm learning to sign. I've got books. I'm on like 3 different sites.
And my private lessons with you," I told him, shyly rubbing his arm. "But, in
the meantime, do you think that you could...?" I finished slowly.
Emmett was shaking his head again. Now I have made him angry. Me and my big
mouth!
Trying to change the subject again, I said, "Can we go back to kissing? We do
that really well!"
Emmett smiled slightly and leaned closer. I grabbed his jacket and pulled him
down. He shrugged out of his jacket and pulled me closer. I ran my hands up and
down his well toned arms.
Damn, he is hot and all mine!
#--------------------
We decided to head to the park. I ran over to Mom's car and dropped my book
bag in the back seat. She wouldn't say anything. I've done it lots of times
before. Opening the trunk, I pulled out a blanket she always kept in there. Bay
raised an eyebrow in question. I just shrugged and smiled. She shook her head
and grinned. Hey, no point in laying on the hard ground without enjoying it.
"Ready?" I signed.
"Yes, I'm ready," she said, repeating my sign.
Kissing her again, I handed her my spare helmet. Rolling up the blanket, I
stored it in a side compartment on the bike. I got on and stood waiting for her
to do the same.
She held on much tighter then she usually did. Not that I minded, because I
was sure that before she thought she didn't have the right to sit so close to
me. Now, she was comfortable.
Were we dating now? Absolutely, yes. I don't go around just kissing anybody!
What a kiss it was though! My lips were still tingling from it.
Once we reached the park, we found a secluded spot and laid the blanket down.
Bay started to sit, but before she could, I grabbed her around the waist. I
aimed my camera quickly and took a picture before she was totally aware of what
I was doing. I wanted to remember this day forever.
"To remember today," I mouthed.
We tumbled onto the blanket. I leaned over her and kissed her breathless.
God, I love kissing her!
Now that we were dating, I knew I would have to teach her new signs to
explain our relationship. I just wasn't counting on her asking so soon. When I
pulled back for a second to look at her, she asked, "How do you say "kiss" in
sign language?"
I pulled back and showed her the sign for kiss. Then I signed a kiss on the
cheek. Of course, she laughed.
I kissed her again. Pulling away for a second time, she asked, "How do you
say laugh?" Again I showed her and she mimicked me. "Laugh." I smiled and pulled
her in again. At least she wants to know.
Pushing me back slightly, Bay asked, "Can I ask you a question?" Falling back
on the blanket, all I could think was, "You're killing me here!" Finally, I sat
up with a smile and motioned for her to ask her question. Boy, was I surprised.
"Do you ever speak? Like, with your voice?" Bay asked me, curiosity clearly
on her face.
I could only stare at her. Any question in the world she could have asked,
and it was the one question I never wanted to answer. Seeing that Bay was
watching me intently, I finally shook my head no.
"Why not? Is it cause your embarrassed, cause you don't have to be with me,"
she said quickly, clearly realizing I was uncomfortable.
How could I explain to Bay why I never spoke? Would she understand if I did
tell her? Finally, I decided on "I don't need to." Bay repeated my signs. "You
don't need to?" I nodded. That was the best answer I could give right now.
"Well, yeah. You haven't needed to, because you're usually around people who
sign. But, with me..." she left the sentence hanging.
Oh! She was uncomfortable because she didn't sign as well as other people I
knew. That would change though. "You have to learn to sign," I signed and
mouthed. I understood her fine. She always got what she was saying across to me.
I might miss some words once and awhile, but that was only when she was excited
or over anxious, which wasn't very often.
"I know! I'm learning to sign. I've got books. I'm on like 3 different sites.
And my private lessons with you," Bay told me, rubbing my arm. "But, in the
meantime, do you think that you could...?" she finished slowly.
I shook my head again. Someday, I would have to tell her why, but not today.
Bay looked at me pensively. Then she said, "Can we go back to kissing? We do
that really well!"
I smiled slightly and leaned closer. I could do that. She grabbed my jacket
and pulled me down. I shrugged out of my jacket and pulled Bay closer. She ran
her hands up and down my arms.
Damn, she is all mine!
#--------------------------
After staying at the park for a couple hours, Emmett told me he had a
surprise at his house. We drove there in record time. His mom wasn't home, he
had signed before we left. That was a relief. I didn't know if I could face
Melody just yet.
When we walked in the door, he took my coat and his and hung them by the
door. Putting his arm around my waist, Emmett lead me to his bedroom. Okay, the
surprise is in his bedroom? Opening his door, we walked in. I looked around
while he walked to his desk.
I could tell right away that Emmett had been taking pictures for as long as
he was old enough to hold a camera steady. Pictures and posters lined his walls.
He was definitely talented. Then something else caught my eye.
Along one of his walls, I saw TONS of pictures of Daphne. Dating from the
time he met her until recently. Okay, that's a little weird now. I knew they
were best friends, but here was the proof, smacking me in the face, that he has
feelings for her. Or, had? I felt like an intruder now. Maybe being with him
wasn't such a great idea….
I turned around to face Emmett, who was still by his desk. What could I say
to him? "Hey, that's a whole lot of stalker like pictures you got there?" Yeah,
that would be weird. Instead, I said "I think you missed one of her brushing her
teeth." Cause you pretty much have every other picture type up there. Emmett
looked at me, confused. "Never mind," I waved it off.
I turned, staring at the pictures again. Emmett came over and nudged my arm.
He had pictures in his hand. I recognized the top one from the junkyard. I
couldn't focus on the pictures in his hands though. I was still focused on the
"Wall of Daphne" in front of me.
Emmett showed me a couple of the pictures, but I wanted answers. I raised my
hands imploringly. Emmett looked around. He sighed and signed, "Daphne and
I…friends."
"Friends?" I repeated his sign. He nodded. "Okay. It's just you have a whole
lot of pictures of your friend, who happens to look a whole lot like Rachel
McAdams." I wasn't jealous. Or, was I?
Emmett looked at me and then walked to his bed. What was he doing? He pulled
a blanket from the bottom of the bed and held it up. Okay, then. He went to the
wall and grabbed a picture off, and then covered the rest with the blanket. "You
don't have to do that," I said to his back. Emmett turned to face me again. In
his hand was a picture of Daphne from a few months ago, I think. He starts to
rip it in half. "No! Okay, okay, okay. It's fine," I told him.
Emmett placed his hands on my arms. He pulled back and signed and mouthed,
"Friends. I promise. That's it." He looked at me, almost begging me to believe
him.
I nodded. "Okay." Emmett placed his hands on my arms again and rubbed up and
down. I was starting to realize he liked to touch me. Not that I minded. I liked
him touching me. It made me feel special. It made me feel wanted.
It made me feel loved….
#----------------------------
After staying at the park for a couple hours, I told Bay I had a surprise at
home. I wanted to show her the pictures from the junkyard. We drove back to my
house in record time. Mom wasn't home, so now was a great time. She would be
gone most of the evening.
When we walked in the door, I took her coat and mine and hung them by the
door. Putting my arm around her waist, I lead her to my bedroom. I really
enjoyed touching her. She was so soft in my arms. Opening the door, we walked
in. Bay looked around while I walked to the desk to get the pictures.
I looked up to see Bay standing in front of my pictures of Daphne. Okay, that
could be awkward. What would she say about it? I knew her well enough to know
she would say something about the pictures on the wall. She turned around,
facing me. She said something about brushing teeth. Huh? That's weird. "Never
mind," she said, waving it off. She looked at the wall again. Okay, time for the
surprise!
I walked over to her, pictures in hand, and nudged her arm. I tried to show
Bay the pictures, but she wasn't paying attention to them. She was staring at my
wall. Then, she raised her hands in question. I looked around. Okay, from her
point of view, this could certainly look bad. But, I only had eyes for Bay now.
I had to make her see that. I sighed and signed, "Daphne and I…friends."
"Friends?" Bay repeated the sign. I nodded. "Okay. It's just you have a whole
lot of pictures of your friend, who happens to look a whole lot like Rachel
McAdams." She wasn't jealous, was she? Not that Bay had a reason to be.
I decided to alleviate some of her unease. I walked to my bed and pulled off
the blanket from the bottom of the bed and held it up. I went to the wall and
grabbed a picture off, and then covered the rest with the blanket. Does she get
it now? I turned around again. I showed her the picture and then started to rip
it in half. "No! Okay, okay, okay. It's fine," Bay said, holding up her hands.
I placed my hands on her arms. She was the one I wanted, not Daphne. I pulled
back, signing and mouthing, "Friends. I promise. That's it." I looked at her,
begging her to believe me.
She nodded. "Okay." Thank you! I placed my hands on her arms again and rubbed
up and down. I loved touching her. It just made my day.
#-----------------------
Darkness had fallen outside. God, had we been here that long? Currently, we
were lying on Emmett's bed, looking at an album of his pictures that he had
taken. I was seeing once again just how talented he was with a camera. He took
pictures of graffiti and made them look beautiful. Emmett pointed out one that
he must have particularly loved. That's okay! I loved it too.
Tapping his arm, I told him, "I love that piece!" signing "love" like he
taught me. He nodded and signed "cool" I think. "Cool?" I asked, making sure I
was right. Emmett smiled and repeated cool. I smiled and repeated it as well.
I had been thinking about MY paintings of "Axe Girl" around the city. I
wanted to tell him, but I was nervous. What would he say? Would he like the fact
that I put up graffiti or would he be turned off by it? I figured he would
understand so, I decided to bite the bullet and tell him. Hesitantly, I tapped
his arm. He looked at me expectantly. Here goes….
"I have to tell you something. It's something I've only told one other
person, and that's cause he discovered me doing it…" I trailed off when Emmett
held up his hands, wanting me to slow down. Oh! Too fast. Got it. He affirmed
this by using his hands like he was talking and pushed down to show I was
talking too fast.
"Oh, sorry! I'm just really excited to tell you cause, you'll get it."
Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He held up his finger, like "1 second." He checked
it quickly and motioned for me to continue. I had a bad feeling now.
"Who is that?" I asked, sure I knew the answer. He waved his hand like
"nothing, promise" and motioned again for me to continue. "Go on." Okay, if you
insist. "Any way, do you know those posters of the girl in the pink dress?
Sometimes she has an axe. Sometimes she has a hammer…" I was interrupted again
by his phone vibrating. Really! Take a clue! He's busy! Emmett held up his hand
again. Oh, come on! This is annoying now.
"Daphne, again?" I said, using her name sign. Emmett shrugged. Really! Now I
wasn't even sure I wanted to continue. It was obvious Daphne really wanted
Emmett for some reason. My frustration showing, I said sarcastically, "Is she
about to get eaten by a lion or something? Is there anything she needs?"
Emmett was clearly interested in what I was telling him. He did a sign I
didn't recognize and motioned again to continue. I was too irritated to ask what
he signed. I barely got "Okay" out when his phone vibrated YET AGAIN!
"Wow, seriously!" I said, sitting up on the bed. Emmett checked his phone YET
AGAIN! I started to get off the bed, when Emmett grabbed my arm.
"Wait, wait," he mouthed. Wait for what? I wasn't going to be able to finish
telling him anyway. Daphne wanted him, and I knew in that moment I would always
be second. "Ding, ding, Daphne calls," I said, trying to get off the bed. Emmett
grabbed my arm again. He signed something about "motorcycle." I was too pissed
to care right now. SHE RUINS EVERYTHING!
"Whatever, Emmett!" I raged, forcing my feet into my shoes. I needed to get
out of there. I couldn't take anymore. Emmett pulled on me and signed something
I was too pissed off to pay attention to. Daphne was always going to be first
with him. Why wasn't I surprised? "I don't know what you're saying and I don't
care!" I finally got my shoes on and stood up to leave. Emmett stood up too. "2
seconds," he mouthed. NO! I was done being second fiddle tonight!
"No! Forget it. Oh, and don't forget your camera!" I walked toward the shrine
on the wall. "I'm sure you'll want to capture this moment for your Daphne
shrine!" I said, pulling down the blanket. I stalked past Emmett out of his
room. My heart was breaking inside, but I wouldn't show it to him.
Once I was outside, the tears started falling. I wanted to scream. Why did
everyone put her before me? My parents, Regina….Emmett. Why wasn't I enough for
anyone in my life? Once again, I felt like I was drowning and couldn't surface
for air. I started walking. I could be home in an hour on foot.
I felt betrayed….
#-----------------------------
Darkness had fallen outside. Had we been here that long? Currently, we were
lying across my bed, looking at an album of pictures that I had taken. I was
proud to show these off. I pointed out one that I really loved.
Tapping my arm, Bay said, "I love that piece!" signing "love" like I taught
her. I nodded and signed "cool." "Cool?" she repeated. I smiled and repeated
cool again. Bay smiled and repeated it as well.
I felt Bay tap my arm again. She looked like something was on her mind.
Something important. I looked at her expectantly.
"I have to tell you something. It's something … only told one … person, and
that's … …. …. discovered … doing it…" I held up my hands. She was talking too
fast. I mimed talking with my hands and pushed down to show I wanted her to slow
down.
"Oh, sorry! I'm just really excited to tell you cause, you'll get it."
Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I held up my finger. "1 second." I checked it
quickly. It was a text from Daphne. I ignored it and motioned for Bay to
continue.
"Who is that?" She asked. I didn't want to tell her it was Daphne so I waved
my hand, "nothing, promise" and motioned again for her to continue. "Go on."
"Any way, do you know those posters of the girl in the pink dress? Sometimes she
has an axe. Sometimes she has a hammer…" Again, my phone vibrated. Really,
Daphne! Right now! I held up my hand again and checked. Yup, Daphne. I could
see Bay was getting annoyed now.
"Daphne, again?" Bay said, using her name sign. I shrugged. She was already
pissed off. I could see it in her expression. She said sarcastically, "Is she
about to get eaten by a lion or something? Is there anything she needs?"
I was more interested in what Bay was trying to tell me, then Daphne's issue.
I motioned again for her to continue. She barely got "Okay" out when my phone
vibrated YET AGAIN! What is so damn important that Daphne had to text me 3
times?
"Wow, seriously!" she said, sitting up on the bed. I checked the phone YET
AGAIN! Okay, enough was enough. Bay started to get off the bed, so I grabbed her
arm.
"Wait, wait," I mouthed. I needed to find out what she wanted or she would
just keep texting me. "Ding, ding, Daphne calls," Bay said, trying to get off
the bed. I grabbed her arm again. Hold on a second! I signed "She probably needs
a ride." Bay was a little too pissed to care, however.
"Whatever, Emmett!" she said, trying to force her feet into her shoes. Damn
it! I pulled on her again and signed, "I'm going to text her and see what she
wants." Probably not a smart thing to say from the look on Bay's face. "I don't
know what you're saying and I don't care!" she forced out. She finally got her
shoes on and stood up to leave. I stood up too. Damn you, Daphne! "2 seconds," I
mouthed. Please!
"No! Forget it. Oh, and don't forget your camera!" Bay walked toward my wall.
"I'm sure you'll want to capture this moment for your Daphne shrine!" She said,
yanking down the blanket. She rushed past me before I could stop her. I wanted
to kill Daphne right now!
Checking my phone again, I looked at the 3 messages.
"I need a lift home. Can you come get me?"
"Hello! Emmett, where are you?"
"EMMETT! ANSWER ME, PLEASE!"
Sending her a text back, I said, "Where are you?" and waited for her reply.
I think Bay felt betrayed…and I was the cause.
#--------------------
When I finally got home, I walked into my studio and slumped against the
counter. Why was this always happening to me? I thought Emmett would be
different. Guess I was wrong about that. Daphne would always be first with
everyone important in my life. I wasn't even first with my boyfriend. Boyfriend?
That's a joke. I don't know what we are, but dating is probably not it. He
couldn't even put me first tonight. It was all about HER! Again! Her wants, her
needs. Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn't want to share Emmett now. I
wanted him to myself.
To be fair though, Daphne didn't know I was over there. How could she? She
doesn't even know there is anything going on between him and I. I want to stay
mad, but I can feel my anger slipping away. What a mess!
Feeling like I needed to talk to someone, anyone at this point who wasn't
related to me, I called the number Ty gave me for the Army base he was at for
training. Here goes nothing.
"Ring, Ring, Ring, Fort Benning Army Base. This is Lieutenant Johnson
speaking. How may I assist you?"
"Hi, could I speak to Ty Mendoza? I mean, Tyler."
"What is his rank, please ma'am?"
"I guess he's a private. What do you call a guy who's in training?"
"Sorry, ma'am. No phone calls to new recruits unless it's a family member."
"Oh, no. Please, couldn't you just bend the rules just this once. I really
need to talk to him."
"Did he impregnate you, ma'am?"
"No! He didn't get me pregnant!" On second thought. "If he did, could
I talk to him?"
CLICK! Okay! That went well. "Way to protect and serve!"
Next, I tried Liam…
"Ring, Ring, Ring-This is Liam. Leave me a message!"
"Hey, Liam! It's Bay. Um, I'm just checking in. It's been a while since we
last spoke. Things just got so weird between us. You know what? Just call me
back when you get a chance." I finished weakly.
"What are you doing?" I heard Toby ask. How long has he been standing there?
And what did he hear?
"Why are you spying on me?" I retorted.
"Why are you taking a trip down "I dated Bay Kennish" memory lane? What's
going on?"
I couldn't tell him about what happened at Emmett's. It was kind of
embarrassing now. "Nothing," I told him point blank. His stare said he didn't
believe me. "It's just, sometimes it's nice to talk to a guy who seemed to care
about you." Even though both of said guys were in Daphne's pocket.
For the first time, I noticed the magazine in Toby's hand. Pulling it up, he
said, "Well, maybe this will cheer you up," and opened it. Inside was a picture
of Dad holding a baseball…in his tighty-whities? Oh, god!
"Oh my GOD!" I said, coming closer. I took the magazine and stared at it. Of
course, Toby laughed at my reaction. Wonder what his was?
"I know. I'm not sure what's worst? The goofy smile or the hairy chest?" he
said with a semi-straight face.
I was so happy to be able to utter this next sentence. "All I can say is, I'm
so glad I'm not related to him!"
"Hey, you just drunk-dialed Liam when you were sober. Bad judgment runs in
your gene pool, too." You have no idea!
"Thanks," I said, glaring at him. He, of course, smiles and holds up the
picture of Dad again. Payback time! "Kind of looks like you." Take that!
"Shut up!" Toby said firmly.
After Toby's unexpected interruption, I realized I wasn't mad anymore. I just
felt…sad.
What was going to happen next?
#---------------------------
Driving to pick up Daphne, I couldn't stop thinking about Bay. I knew she was
mad. What could I say to her to make her forgive me? Maybe I could buy her some
art supplies! Suck up a little bit. She would be sure to forgive me after that.
Seeing the car up ahead that Daphne told me to look for, I slowed down and
pulled up to the window. I saw Daphne say something about "her ride." Was that
Wilkie? Holy geez…..
Wilkie rolled down his window and turned to Daphne. "What?" I saw her say. I
saw his lips move. Did he just call her a liar? What did I get in the middle of?
"Hey, buddy," I saw him say. "Nice taxi service you run. Do you do this for
everybody or just special friends?" Was he drunk or something? Daphne climbed
out of the car.
"Wilkie? Your taste in guys has gone from bad to worst!" I told her, a little
annoyed still. She called me for a ride and she was with THIS idiot! I was
better off with Bay. I knew I should have shut my phone off!
"It's not like that!" Daphne retorted. OH REALLY! My eyes tell me otherwise.
I noticed her shirt then. It was crookedly buttoned. Did they…? EEEWWWWW!
"You missed a button," I told her sarcastically. When did she lower her
standards? Did she have NO self respect?
She of course, glared at me. "Can we just go?" she signed sharply. Yes,
master!
Daphne bent toward the window. I couldn't see what they were saying, but they
talked for about a minute. Finally, Daphne faced me again. For the first time, I
noticed the fumes of alcohol on her breath. They were drinking, too! Now,
everything made sense.
"Are you drunk?" I asked her suspiciously.
"I was," she answered honestly.
"What's wrong?" Even though I was mad about my ruined evening with Bay,
Daphne was still my best friend. I didn't want to see her hurt.
"I'll tell you when we get there," was her cryptic response.
"Where are we going? Home?" I asked.
Daphne paused a second. "Yeah, I wanna go home." Does she mean her old home?
She got on the bike. Wilkie waved and we took off.
What could possibly happen next?
#------------------------
Toby and I heard everyone talking outside and went to investigate. Regina and
my parents were outside and Regina…..HAD THE GUITAR CASE!
"I don't really play. It's just an old case I'm getting rid of," Regina was
telling my parents. GETTING RID OF? NO!
"That's a guitar case!" I said, trying to sound surprised. I would find out
what was in it!
"It's taking up too much space in my closet," Regina said, trying to stuff it
in the trunk. By all means, give it to me!
"Your getting rid of it?" I said stupidly. Duh!
"Yeah, I'm, um, clearing out some things."
"Uh, hey. Could I keep it?" Please, oh, please! "I think it would make a
really cool art piece."
"You know. It's from an ex-boyfriend and I really don't want to be seeing it
around, so I'd prefer to get rid of it," Regina said definitively, shutting the
trunk. "Symbolic, you know?" Uh, not really. I want that guitar case!
Dad commented about going to Goodwill so late and thinking they might be
closed. Regina just said, "Only one way to find out," and drove away. Okay, that
was WAY past weird.
#------------------------
Daphne and I pulled up to her old house. We walked around outside for awhile.
Daphne was strangely quiet. What was she thinking about? Finally we looked in
her old bedroom window. It was dark now, no one lived there.
"I loved this place," Daphne said. "It was perfect."
Trying to cheer her up, I said, "Now, you've got a swimming pool, tennis
courts, a basketball hoop."
"I didn't ask for any of this, you know." You didn't ask to be born into a
rich family? "I wasn't looking for answers. I liked my life just the way it
was," Daphne said honestly.
"I know." What else could I say?
"I want it back. I want my old life back. Before we all knew."
I'm still confused. "What happened tonight?" Something was definitely eating
at her.
Then she told me something that I couldn't believe. "My mom knew about the
switch." NO WAY! "She knew it for years. And never said anything."
My next thoughts were about Bay. Did she know? She couldn't know. She would
have said something. Just to be on the safe side though…act dumb.
"What? Does Bay know?" I had to know!
Daphne grabbed my arm. Uh-oh. "Why are you so obsessed with Bay?" Shit, does
she suspect something? Cover your back, Emmett!
"I'm not. But, she deserves to know too." If you don't tell her, I will.
"I need you on my side right now." I'm on both sides now. Bay's and Daphne's.
"I am. I always am," I told her.
"I can't tell anyone. My mom asked me not to. I don't know what to do." Me
neither. I couldn't lie to my girlfriend. But, I couldn't betray Daphne, either.
I'm so screwed.
Just then, Daphne's phone vibrated. She looked at it, and then turned it
toward me. It was a text from Bay. "What was in the guitar case?" Well, shit.
Now I really was stuck.
I convinced Daphne to come home with me and sleep on the couch. Partially
because if I gave her a ride back home Bay would be there. Not that I was
avoiding Bay, but her seeing Daphne and me probably wouldn't go over well.
The next morning, I came downstairs to see Daphne sprawled on the couch,
sound asleep still. I had been awake for awhile, thinking about last night. I
really did need to see Bay, but didn't know if I could hide what Daphne had told
me. I sighed, irritated. Only together 1 day, and already I was keeping things
from Bay. What a mess!
I stared at Daphne for a minute. She was a messy sleeper. Her hair always got
in her face and she always had the blankets wrapped around her. I wonder how Bay
sleeps? Is she messy too, or does she sleep like a log, not moving at all? Was
she a morning person, or was she a slow riser? If it was Bay on the couch, I'd
wake her up with a kiss. Not doing that with Daphne, though. Gently, I rubbed
Daphne's arm to wake her up. She woke up groggy and looked around. At least she
was sober now.
"Thanks for letting me crash. Mom would've killed me if she smelled alcohol
on my breath." Here I thought it was my idea.
"You gonna go talk to her?" I asked, dreading the answer.
Daphne shrugged. "She's got work. I've got school. I guess I'll find out the
rest tonight." Something told me I would too.
Daphne sighed and sat up to put her shoes on. She got a weird look on her
face. A second too late, I remembered the pictures on the table of Bay and I
from the junkyard. Too late! Daphne grabbed them and looked at a few. Please
don't say anything bad. I can't deal with it right now.
"Where did you take these?" Again with the sour faces. I am really tired of
those now.
"The junkyard, that day I gave her a lift." The day I realized I might have
feelings for her. Daphne looked at me with a disbelieving expression. "You know
me. I take pictures of everything," I said, trying to sound nonchalant about it.
I do take pictures all the time, so it's totally believable, right?
She gave me a look that clearly told me she didn't believe me.
"Come on. We better get going." Anything to get her away from the pictures!
#---------------------
The next day, I was staring intently at my phone. Daphne didn't come home
last night and she never answered my text either. Did she stay at Emmett's? He
hadn't contacted me either. So, here I was, staring at my phone, willing one of
them to contact me.
Mom walked in with a jacket on that should have been outlawed in the '80's.
Holy shoulder pad!
"What do you think?" Mom asked. Seriously?
Trying not to laugh, I told her, "Way to much shoulder pad . You want to look
confident. Not like a linebacker."
"Okay, well, what about this one?" she said, holding up an ugly gray striped
jacket.
"Oh, that's nice, It looks like you're going on vacation in the Bahamas."
"Not exactly the look I'm looking for," Mom said, taking off the first
jacket. "I hope I don't screw this up. I'm gonna kill your father."
I asked the question that had been on my mind for awhile. "Why is this
lawsuit so important to him? It's not like we're hurting for money."
Mom came back around the corner. She stared at me for a moment. "I think your
dad feels like this switch was his fault. Like, he should have noticed or
something. I think this is his way of making up for it."
"It's that one," I told Mom, indicating the jacket she was currently wearing.
"Hmm, this one?" she said.
"It's a great contrast with your hair. Also, it makes you sound pretty wise,"
I told her with a smile on my face.
"Really?" Mom said, disbelief on her face.
I just shook my head and told her to get going. After my mother left the room
I laid there for a minute considering what she had just said. Was this lawsuit
really more about him than it was Daphne and I? Does my father really only find
fault in himself and…..not with me? So many questions and not enough answers. I
whipped out my phone ready to text Emmett to see what he thinks. But as I sit
looking at his name emblazoned on my phone I remember my little outburst
last night. Does he even want to talk to me anymore?
Deciding that I wasn't waiting anymore, I borrowed Toby's car and drove to
Carlton. I had to talk to Daphne about that case!
As luck would have it, I saw her walking to her next class. Perfect! I waved
my arms to alert her to my presence. Daphne got a very confused look on her
face.
"Okay, what was in the guitar case?" I asked her as soon as I got close
enough for her to read my lips.
"What are you doing here?" she asked me, clearly surprised to see me. I don't
have time for this!
"The guitar case! Regina's guitar case," I signed and spoke. Come on, quit
stalling and tell me! "The one that she suddenly had to donate in the middle of
the night. What did you find in there?" I signed "find."
Daphne looked conflicted. "I want to tell you, but I can't. You'll have to
ask your mother." Huh?
"My mom?" What would my mom know about it? Wait a second…..is she talking
about Regina? "Do you mean Regina?"
"Yeah," she confirmed. "Because she's certainly not mine," Daphne said point
blank. What the hell is going on that I don't know about? "I got to go," were
her parting words before she turned and walked away.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I hung around for a few minutes, hoping to see Emmett. After several minutes,
I gave up and walked back to Toby's car and got in. Guess I couldn't apologize
today.
#--------------------
I saw Bay talking to Daphne about the guitar case. I wanted to go up to her,
but I didn't know if it was the right time. Bay looked like she was on a mission
and I didn't want to hinder that. I knew Daphne wouldn't tell her anything and
that made it harder for me. I had to lie to my girlfriend to protect a secret
Daphne entrusted me with about the switch. It was easier for me to avoid Bay.
I can't help feeling like I'm a chicken for taking the coward's way out of
dealing with this secret. Maybe I am chicken. I see Daphne walk away and Bay
starts looking around. Is she looking for me? I stepped back, hiding in the
shade of the trees. After a few minutes, Bay gives up and walks back to her car.
The look on her face freezes me. She looks defeated and hurt. Unconsciously, I
step forward a little bit.
Then I remembered her "temper tantrum" in my room. Arguably, I knew she
wasn't genuinely angry. I knew she was hurt and I saw the fear in her eyes when
she looked at all those pictures of Daphne. I knew she felt betrayed. I couldn't
stand for her to feel like that.
Should I go talk to her? I can see Bay still sitting in her car. Is she
hoping to see me? Finally, she starts the car and drives away. Stupid! Now I
lost my chance!
I see the flashing lights in the quad indicating that next period is
starting. Shit! I'm so gonna be late for class. But, in a way, it's worth it.
I got to see Bay's beautiful face!
#-------------------------------
I had finally decided I was just going to confront Regina directly. I was
tired of the cat and mouse games. I would know what was in that damn case!
Finally, Regina pulled into the driveway. Before she even stopped the car, I
was up and moving toward her. I stopped in front of her door. As she opened it,
the look on her face told me she knew something was up.
"Hey," she said. Enough bullshit!
"What was in that guitar case?" I said angrily.
Regina's face registered surprise and….guilt? She tried to walk around me.
Oh, no way!
"Daphne told me that she opened it. If she knows, I want to know too. What is
in there?"
Before Regina could answer me, I heard my parents car pull up. Great, another
distraction! Little did I know. My parents got out of the car. My dad looked
seriously pissed off. Regina and I exchanged looks. This doesn't look good.
"Regina, would you join us in the house, please," my father gritted out. Oh,
man. This really doesn't look good. "Bay, you too, please. This involves you as
well," my mother chimed in.
We all walked to the living room. Daphne was waiting for us. How did she
know? I stood next to my mother, wondering what in the hell was going on. Regina
stood in the center of the living room. All of a sudden, mom and dad started
blasting her.
"Did you switch the kids?" Dad said.
"I thought we were in this together," Mom accused at the same time.
"No, I didn't know," was all I caught from Regina.
My parents and Regina kept talking over each other making it impossible to
know what they were saying. Daphne was just sitting there. Must be nice. I was
suddenly envious of the fact that she couldn't hear them. As if I could be so
lucky. Then I caught my father talking about Regina finding out earlier.
Wait, what?
"You lied to me," Mom screeched.
"Just let me explain," Regina finally got in a sentence. But now I
interrupted.
"Wait, you knew…WHAT?" I said, my jaw dropping. Regina looked scared and my
parents were stilled pissed.
"Okay. Just, give me a minute," Regina said, trying to collect herself.
"Fine. Talk. Go!" Dad said in a clipped voice.
"Okay," she said very quietly. For the first time, I really took in the look
on Daphne's face. She looked….disgusted and angry. Mom sat on the couch. Dad
stood, staring daggers at Regina. I was just confused. Then I heard a speech
that turned my world upside down, again.
"I found out," Regina started, signing for Daphne's benefit, "12 ½ years ago.
When Daphne was 3. Angelo, Daphne's father, he was on me, ever since Daphne was
a baby." It was the first time Regina actually said his name. "Why didn't she
look like him? How could she be so blonde? And Blue eyed? And so fair? I had to
have had an affair." Regina looked bitter at this. "But, I hadn't. Plus, we were
fighting all the time. I mean, I was drinking. He was drinking. It wasn't my
finest hour." Mom looked disgusted now, too. "And then, she got sick. And, I
know you think it was my fault, and I thought that for a long time too."
Dad interrupted. "Regina, none of this has to do with anything."
"It was meningitis, okay! You know that. But, you don't know how bad it was.
I mean, if you don't catch it in time, within a few hours, you could die. And
sitting in that hospital, waiting to see if she was going to be okay, I would
not wish that on any parent." Regina was starting to cry now.
"What do you want from us, sympathy?" Mom asked.
"No! I just need you to understand."
Next, Daphne interrupted. "Just get to the part where you knew," she said
angrily. Regina looked at me, but it was hard to read her face.
"They were going to give her an antibiotic, that had a chance of making her
deaf. I mean, but what was my choice?"
"Well, actually, if you had shared this information, other resources could
have been brought to bear on this situation," Dad was shouting.
At the same time, Regina was saying, "I didn't know by then! I didn't know! I
didn't know!"
Daphne shouted, "Stop! Please, just let her finish!"
"She was in the ICU for 8 days, and I never left her side. And when she got
better, and failed the hearing test. Well, Angelo, by now, he was sure she
wasn't his."
"I knew it," Daphne stated. "I knew that's why he left."
"He was gonna leave anyway. I honestly believe that." Regina told her. "And I
am not defending him, but you have to understand. Neither of us knew how to deal
with any of this."
"So then? You found out then?" Dad asked, slightly calmer.
Regina nodded slightly. "Angelo secretly took a swab of her saliva and had
her DNA tested. And, he came back with the results, saying he knew it all along.
That she wasn't his. She was someone else's. You know, we had a huge fight, and
I said that it was impossible! He was lying! He was just trying to find some
reason to leave us! But, he left anyway."
Dad and Mom had finally calmed down. They actually looked sorry for her now.
But, Regina wasn't finished yet.
"And, I looked at my Blonde, Blue eyed little girl, and I had her tested
again. And the results came back the same. She wasn't biologically related to
me."
Mom grabbed some tissues and handed them to Regina. "Why didn't you say
anything?" Mom wanted to know. Yeah, me too!
Regina's next words froze my heart. "Because she was MY daughter by then. I
was an alcoholic, unemployed single parent. I was broke! I had nothing. Nothing
but this little baby, that everyone thought was mine. Who I loved, so much."
I could only stare at her. I felt like I was in a train wreck. Tell me this
isn't real? This has to be a nightmare!
"I was a mess. I mean, I was scared if I told the truth, they would have
yanked her away from me and given both kids to the other family."
"We wouldn't have done that to you," Mom told her honestly.
"You weren't real to me then."
"Did Grandma know?" Daphne cut in.
"No one knew. I didn't tell anybody."
"I don't understand how not telling anybody is making things right?" Mom put
in.
"I looked around at my life, and I made a decision. I would clean myself up.
I would figure it out, and I would be the best mom that I could be!" Everyone
continued to stare at Regina. "I joined AA, I reconnected with my mom, and I got
it together. And I think, I did a pretty good job!" she finished softly.
This whole time, I never once heard her mention me. Did I matter to her at
all? Or, was it all about Daphne, as usual? Didn't I matter? What was I to her?
I needed to ask so badly.
"What about me?" I asked quietly. Everyone turned to stare at me. I didn't
care. I wanted answers now!
"You knew?" I asked, heartbroken. "All this time, and you never came for me?"
"Oh, honey," Regina started, stepping toward me. I stepped back, not wanting
her near me. "I wanted you. Of course, I wanted you! I mean, I even hired a
private investigator. He came back with photos, and bios of your parents. That's
what was in the guitar case." You spied on me! "Pictures of you. Tons of
pictures of you. I followed you constantly." And stalked me, too!
"That makes it worst," I said, tears forming. I was going to lose it soon. I
could feel it.
"Please, try to understand. You were Bay Kennish by then. And I would have
been ripping you from the only family that you ever knew," Regina's voice
started breaking. I don't care about that.
"But, I was your daughter. Me, not her, and you chose her over me," I said,
feeling broken.
Mom came over to me. "Honey.." she started. No! I would have MY say now!
"NO! You knew? All those years, you knew about me. You followed me, and you
never once came for me!"
"I did what I thought was best for you!" Regina tried to explain. Yeah,
right.
"No. You did what was best for you!" With those parting words, I turned
around and walked out of the room.
"Bay?" I heard Regina say. No, I was DONE listening to her.
Walking outside, I grabbed my phone. I texted the only person I wanted to see
right now. The only person I could see….. The only person I hoped wanted to see
me.
"Emmett, I need you. Come get me, please!"
A minute later, I got his reply. "I'm on my way."
I was never so happy to see that answer in my life.
#--------------------------
All afternoon, I hadn't heard from Bay or Daphne. What the hell was going on
over there? Did Bay know yet? I contemplated texting her and then thought better
of it. If something was going down, which I was sure it was, I didn't want to
interrupt and cause problems. Besides, I wasn't even sure Bay wanted to talk to
me anymore. After the other night, I realized that all the pictures of Daphne on
my wall needed to change. She was no longer the most important person in my life
and I had to show it. So, I made a decision.
The wall of Daphne had to go!
My mind set, I started to take down pictures. Suddenly, my phone vibrated.
Checking the screen, I see a message from Bay. A sense of relief washed over me.
She still wants to talk to me. However, reading the text made the happy feeling
evaporate. In it's place was a wave of sadness.
"Emmett, I need you. Come get me, please!"
She knew. She knew about the switch now. And she wanted me to come get her.
"I'm on my way." I would never tell her no.
Grabbing my coat, I raced out the door.
#----------------------------
When we got back to Emmett's house, he led me back upstairs to his room. I
walked in, saw his Daphne wall, and almost chickened out. But, I needed him too
much. I just needed him to be here.
"What happened?" he signed. His face clearly showed he was worried about me.
At least someone was.
"She knew! All this time, she knew. She knew about the switch. She just shut
her eyes and pretended like I didn't even exist. Like it was more important not
to risk losing Daphne then to even try and come get me.." I trailed off when
Emmett signed "slow down." I can't. I'm sorry.
"No! Okay, I don't want to slow down. I want to say what I need to say, and I
want you to understand me." He's signing "slow down" again. Maybe this whole
thing is a huge mistake. "But, I can't sign and you can't hear." His face is
confused again. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have called him. I need to
leave. This will never work! "I don't even know what I'm doing here? This isn't
going to work out!" I tried to run out the door.
Emmett grabbed my arm. Turning around to face him, I feel the tears threaten
to fall. I'm such an idiot. Liam was right. There is way to much drama with me.
Emmett doesn't seem to care though. He mouths, "Okay," and pulls on my arm.
After all of this, he still wants me. He is the only one who wants me. Even with
all my flaws, he still wants to be in my life. The feelings are overwhelming
right now. I have reached my breaking point. The tears start flowing. I allow
him to pull me into his arms. I let all the pain loose with my tears. My knees
gave out and Emmett followed me down, still holding me tightly against him.
Seconds, minutes, hours…. I lost track of how long we stayed like that.
Finally, I felt cried out. Pulling back, I see Emmett staring at me intently.
This is becoming a habit. Breaking down in his arms.
"I'm sorry," I signed. Emmett shook his head. "No need," he signed back.
"No, I'm sorry for everything. The other day, just now. I NEED you in my
life. I shouldn't have acted like that. That was so immature and I am so
terribly sorry for it." I needed to apologize for my childish behavior. Emmett
needed to know that I did appreciate him.
Taking my face in his hands, he kissed me gently. "As I NEED you in my life.
I'm sorry, too. I should have realized all of that would bother you. I hurt your
feelings and I hope you can forgive me, as well." Emmett signed and mouthed
slowly.
"Apologizes cancel each other out. I've forgiven and forgotten if you can."
"Yes, I can," he signed before pulling me into another kiss.
I think that is the moment I fell in love….
#----------------------
I picked Bay up outside her house. She said she wanted to go back to mine.
She got on and back home I drove. When we got there, I lead her upstairs to my
room. She looked at the Daphne wall but made no comment.
Finally, she turned back around to face me. "What happened?" I signed. I
wanted her to share this with me. To know she could trust me.
She started talking fast right away. I couldn't catch everything. "She knew!
All … time, … knew. She knew about … switch. She just shut … eyes … pretended …
I didn't … exist. Like it … more important … to risk losing Daphne then to … try
and … get me.." She trailed off when I signed "slow down."
"No! Okay, I … want … slow down. I want … say what I … to say, and I … you to
understand …." I sign "slow down" again. I see the frustration on her face. I am
not making this easy for her. My deafness is suddenly a hindrance. "But, I can't
sign and you can't hear." I'm confused. Is she regretting us now? "I don't even
know what I'm doing here? This isn't going to work out!" She tried to run out
the door. Oh, no you don't!
I grabbed her arm. Turning her around to face me, I see the tears threatening
to fall. I mouthed, "Okay," and pulled on her arm. I need her to see that I
still want her. That I still want to be with her. I know she has reached her
breaking point. The tears start flowing. I pulled her into my arms. I felt her
sobs vibrate through me, felt the tears on my shirt. Her knees gave out and I
followed her down, still holding her tightly.
Seconds, minutes, hours…. I lost track of how long we stayed like that.
Finally, I felt her sobbing stop. She pulls back, and I stare at her intently.
This is becoming a habit. Staring at her.
"I'm sorry," she signed. I shook my head. "No need," I signed back. Never
feel sorry for crying on my shoulder.
"No, I'm sorry for everything. The other day, just now. I NEED you in my
life. I shouldn't have acted like that. That was so immature and I am so
terribly sorry for it." I think she needed me to know that she appreciated me. I
already knew that though.
Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her gently. "As I NEED you in my life.
I'm sorry, too. I should have realized all of that would bother you. I hurt your
feelings and I hope you can forgive me, as well." I signed and mouthed slowly.
Can I ever make her hurt go away? I didn't know, but I damn sure wasn't going to
stop trying.
"Apologizes cancel each other out. I've forgiven and forgotten if you can."
"Yes, I can," I signed before pulling her into another kiss.
I think that is the moment I fell in love….
#------------------------
After a couple hours, I decided I needed to go home and face everyone. I had
run out with no explanation and Mom had already texted me several times. I
ignored them. Emmett dropped me off at the end of the driveway. Before he left,
he gave me a kiss and signed, "Always." I knew what he meant. He would always be
there for me.
As I neared the house, I saw Regina hugging Toby. She had her trunk open and
I could see a bag sticking out. Is she leaving?
"Bay," Regina said. I can't talk to her. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to
talk to her again. Ignoring her, I walk into the house.
I've had enough drama for the night.
#-------------------------